Oh for <expletive deleted>'s sake.
*cringe* *laugh* *facepalm*
*bury head in hands* *groan/chuckle* *incoherent muttering*
Thank you, DireRadiant.
(I think.)
There! Explanation provided and preserved on the internet for posterity. Plus, now I, too, know what Court/My-Mouth-Running-On-Automatic actually said.
(My cat fled in alarm from the litany of curses and embarrassed whimpering. Why did I decide to check one last time before sleeping?)