"I cannot think clearly in here - I dream about her, erotic dreams and when I awake it is the same. I am constantly aroused, don't get me wrong it is amazing I was never this happy - I never even knew I was able to feel like this, but I am terrified - I feel like I am drowning. Normally if I saw you sleeping with this Orc, I'd swear perhaps throw something to express anger - but this time the fantasy was too strong and I was too far gone into the passion. I fantasize on joining you - I never felt bi-sexual before, I am not sure that I am myself here, perhaps I was never myself I do not know."
Nagisa's words further trouble me, but I do my best not to show it. M's words to me about the implant mix with Gi's warnings about M and my own feelings toward the elf herself.
"She has that effect on a lot of people," I confide. "I really do believe she can't help it. I guess my ability to feel Eros is so messed up that she doesn't affect me that way, but instead she's like the mother I never had. A mother who accepts what I am without judging and just wants the best for me. I don't think it's any less intoxicating, though." I hug Nagisa tight. "Given where we both stand with the Family, I think our best bet is to keep trusting her. I don't see many other options, at least for now. And at least you're safe and have the resources to keep busy doing useful things. And while I'm about to go into danger, I have seen enough of what is going on in the city to understand this is really an important assignment. A lot more people will die if Gi doesn't get out of Seattle safe...even this place might become endangered."
"By the way," I add with a smile to try and put aside the troubles. "Have you been outside in the past day? Despite all violence, it's pretty with a thin layer of snow. Strawberry's wards seem to have weathered the fighting, so I bet we could at least stand just outside the door and look at the white blanket."