[ProfGast]

Draft, Still missing final touches, contacts, and decriptions
Redline
Alias: Ena O'Brien
Gender: F
Age: 21
Metatype: Human
Appearance:
Background:
Karma Usage:
-08 ¥
-25 Willpower 1-->3
-25 Strength 1-->3
+10 Bonus
+10 Weak Immune System
+08 Uneducated
+07 Phobia
-02 Steely Eyed Wheelman
Total Remaining: 0
Priorities
A-Resources (450,000)
C-Attribs (16)
A-Skills (46/10)
E-Metatype (Human, 1)
E-Magic (Mundane)
Attributes
BOD 3
AGI 3 (5)
REA 5 (7)
STR 3 (5)
WIL 3
LOG 3 (4)
INT 3
CHA 5
EDG 3
Ess 1.25
Qualities
Steely-Eyed Wheelman
Phobia (Moderate, Uncommon): Bioware Facilities
Uneducated
Weak Immune System
Active Skills

Name	Rank	Pool
Con	4	12
Performance	4	12
Impersonation	4	12
Etiquette	2	10
Perception	6	9
Pilot(G)	6	13
Negotiate	3	11
Intimidate	2	7
Unarmed(NatW)	6	11(13)
Pilot(Wlk)	6	12
Pilot(Wtr)	4	10
Pilot(A)	4	10
Sneaking	4	9
Palming	4	9
Disguise	4	7
Ewarfare	4	8
Computer	3	7
Auto Mechanic	3	7
Water Mechanic	2	6
Hardware	3	7
Navigation	1	4
Survival	1	4
Tracking	1	4
Running	1	6
Swimming	1	6
Gymnastics	1	6

Knowledge Skills and Languages
English: N
French: 1
German: 3

Professional: Mechanic 3
Street: Londong Gangs 2
Street: London Area 3
Contacts
Gear
SIN R4
License R4(x2)-Vehicle License, Drone License
SIN R1
Commlink - Hermes Ikon (DR5)
RCC- Maersk Spider (DR4, Data 4, Firewall 5)
Programs -Encryption. Signal Scrub, Toolbox, virtual Machine, Armor, Biofeedback Filter, Guard, Shell, Sneak, Wrapper
R3 Medkit
1 Month Middle lifestyle

Synergist Business Suit
Ares Victory Globetrotter Jacket (Chem 4, Insulation 4)
Armante Dress
Shock Hands
Hardware Kit
Disguise Kit
Respirate (R6)
Standard Credstick (x5)
Silver Credstick
Contacts
-Low Light
-Vision Mag
-Thermovision
Datachip (x5)
Tag Eraser
Microtransciever
Augmentation
Cyberware
Olfactory Booster (R1)
Control Rig (R1)
Reaction Enhancers (R2)
Bioware
Muscle Augmentation (R2) Omega Grade
Muscle Toner (R2) Omega Grade
Sleep Regulator
Cerebral Booster (R1)
Tailored Pheremones (R3) Omega Grade
Claw (Pair)
Weapon Reservoir Gland (Narcojet) (Pair)
Mnemonic Enhancer (R1)
Geneware
Control Rig Optimization
Magnesense
Tetrachromacy
Vehicles&Drones
GMC Buldog Van (3/3 3 1 16 12 1 2 6)
-Rigger Interface, Manual Interface
-Morphing License Plate
Hyundai Shin-Hyung (5/4 6 3 10 6 1 2 4)
-Rigger Interface, Manual Interface
-Morphing License Plate
Flyspy (4 3 2 1 0 3 3)
-Rigger Interface
Flying Eye (4 3 2 1 0 3 3)
-Rigger Interface
Clearsight Autosoft (R2)

¥260 left over

[Csjarrat]

yeah that looks ok but im really not sold on the omega grade stuff. if you limit it to one piece then I guess we could work with that but not as it is right now.
also, drones don't need a rigger interface, they have one built in.
that phobia is far too specific and will practically never come up in game so that needs to be more realistic.
your contacts are way over the availability limit too.
can you please specify what is in each of your sensor suites in the drones? also if there are any upgrades like thermo/low light etc
you can add sensor functions to a sensor suite for free in chummer to represent the 8 sensors you get in them

[eliwoodsain]

Here's what I have from a mechanical stand point, I still need to write backstory etc:

Priorities Overview (A-E): Skills, Technomancer, Gear, Attributes, Metatype

Character sheet is at https://drive.google.com/file/d/0B4BMPlplvzlmQWdIM2wtYnpQY2c/view?usp=sharing, but I couldn't fit the drones on there.  Drones are as follows:

GM-Nissan Doberman Drone, Parashield Dart Rifle mounted, Autosofts: Doberman Maneuvering 5, Parashield Dart Rifle Targeting 5
MCT-Nissan Roto-Drone w/ Weapons Mount, Yamaha Pulsar mounted, Autosofts: Roto-Drone Maneuvering 5, Yamaha Pulsar Targeting 5
Shiawase Kanmushi, Low Light Vision, Select Sound Filter (2), Autosofts: Kanmushi Stealth 5, Clearsight 5
Lockheed Optic-X2, Vision Enhancement (1), Vision Magnification, Select Sound Filter (1), Autosofts: Optic-X2 Stealth, Clearsight 5

I'm hoping this would work.

[Csjarrat]

I'm not sure you've calculated your attribs right. You seem to have forgotten that edge starts at 2 for humans for one thing and three dumpstats is probably stretching the boundaries with this char, I'd really have to bend the game to not get this guy killed.
I'm not sure being a technomancer is really getting him anything aside from diluting his invested skills. You could achieve a much more balanced char by focussing him and dropping the techno aspect to your E slot or using sum to ten and dropping an A choice to boost up a slot elsewhere

[eliwoodsain]

The issue w/ keeping him mundane is that his social limit drops drastically w/ all of the essence costs needed for the rig and appropriate cyberware.  The thought is actually keep him as a backup hacker (backups are always nice).  I'll adjust edge.

Also, he's NEVER going to be in proper combat physically.  The intention will be to keep him in a van and drone in combat everywhere.  It won't take any modding on your part to keep him alive because he's not going to be exposed to much.  He'll be face to face in initial contracting (setting up the run w/ the Johnson, etc.), and in finalizing, plus any other support he's able to do (like minor hacking as well as B&E), but otherwise, he'll be in the van ready to go for a getaway w/ drones serving as his in-combat presence.

Edit: Character sheet changes are fixed.  Agility is a little higher at the cost of a point of charisma.  I could theoretically drop reaction down another point if you want me to bump up body.

[Csjarrat]

Social limit should pretty much never be an issue in shadowrun given you can buy a cheap jacket that gives +3 limit and then pheromones on top of it if you have the cash.
Can't skulk in the van all day mate, that's not how my game works. This next chapter you'll be out in the sticks so need to be onsite with the team hauling gear, setting up camp and doing recon as part of the crew, pulling your weight as the rest of them do. No-one else in the team gets a free pass out.
If a fight erupts around you in a bar, you need to be able to deal with that; remember that you as a player don't get to dictate how the world works, it reacts organically to factors that might or might not be under player control.
I can't pull punches to keep you alive and reasonably expect to challenge the other players. I'm not expecting everyone to be a beast In a fight but three dumpstats is two too many for me. I'll have a look at the revised sheet in the morning mate as its getting late here

[ProfGast]

yeah that looks ok but im really not sold on the omega grade stuff. if you limit it to one piece then I guess we could work with that but not as it is right now….
...that phobia is far too specific and will practically never come up in game so that needs to be more realistic.

So the draft of the character is based off the "Prototype Transhuman" concept where the character was initially a lab-grown experiment who after her original use got sidelined, was used as a test subject for installation and observation of 'ware in a still-growing subject.  I ended up dropping the quality since it ended up not actually giving me any benefits, while costing me 10 Karma and a negative quality to keep just for flavor.  The concept is still the same she just doesn't have the Quality anymore.  The phobia is supposed to be triggered whenever she encounters a sterile medical facility-type appearance or certain combinations of drugs/blood/solvent smells.  I'm afraid didn't clarify very well in the draft description.  The only question is whether that's an Uncommon, Moderate phobia, or a Common, Mild (8 points instead of 7). 

As for the slew of Omega Grade, part of the in-game explanation was going to be that all of her 'ware was installed when she was a child so it's both older, and also not always of the highest quality, but I have no problems paring down the amount of omega.

also, drones don't need a rigger interface, they have one built in….
...can you please specify what is in each of your sensor suites in the drones? also if there are any upgrades like thermo/low light etc
you can add sensor functions to a sensor suite for free in chummer to represent the 8 sensors you get in them

I'll work on this part, the Rigger section is alas poorly written and jumps back and forth a lot so I kept getting confused with the specs there...

your contacts are way over the availability limit too.

Ah hah.  Those were leftover from a previous character sheet for some reason. I'll tweak them into line in the next draft

I'll finish up the 2nd draft (hopefully with fluff background) when I hear back from you.

[saithor]

Background for Silas Blackwell WIP

Nothing really matters to Silas anymore. Not after he found out that he has some kind of incurable diseases that is slowly causing his heart to fail, and that every treatment has faield to even slow down. It isn't a fast disease, but that's even worse in his books, since he wants to be alive when he dies. Who gives a heck if dying in your sleep was more peaceful, he'd much rather be aware of his moment of death. Silas has always been a serous, dour dwarf, not out of stereotype, but because professionalisim matters to him, and that lfie is something that needs to be taken seriously, blast it! Knowing that he is dying has only reinforced that, and he is determined to go out as a true professional.

[Csjarrat]

yeah that looks ok but im really not sold on the omega grade stuff. if you limit it to one piece then I guess we could work with that but not as it is right now….
...that phobia is far too specific and will practically never come up in game so that needs to be more realistic.

So the draft of the character is based off the "Prototype Transhuman" concept where the character was initially a lab-grown experiment who after her original use got sidelined, was used as a test subject for installation and observation of 'ware in a still-growing subject.  I ended up dropping the quality since it ended up not actually giving me any benefits, while costing me 10 Karma and a negative quality to keep just for flavor.  The concept is still the same she just doesn't have the Quality anymore.  The phobia is supposed to be triggered whenever she encounters a sterile medical facility-type appearance or certain combinations of drugs/blood/solvent smells.  I'm afraid didn't clarify very well in the draft description.  The only question is whether that's an Uncommon, Moderate phobia, or a Common, Mild (8 points instead of 7). 
you wont be going into enough hospitals/clinics/labs that it will count as a common trigger, stick with uncommon for me.

As for the slew of Omega Grade, part of the in-game explanation was going to be that all of her 'ware was installed when she was a child so it's both older, and also not always of the highest quality, but I have no problems paring down the amount of omega. Ok, that's fine then, pick one bit and give me a strong issue with the piece of ware in question as per the rule box.

also, drones don't need a rigger interface, they have one built in….
...can you please specify what is in each of your sensor suites in the drones? also if there are any upgrades like thermo/low light etc
you can add sensor functions to a sensor suite for free in chummer to represent the 8 sensors you get in them

I'll work on this part, the Rigger section is alas poorly written and jumps back and forth a lot so I kept getting confused with the specs there...
yep its a bit of a shitty section tbh, riggers are my fave archetype too! basically, each sensor suite comes with up to 8 sensors pre-installed. at chargen you get to choose which sensors make up that suite. if you buy second-hand in-game, I choose. the sensor suite rating is the capacity of the individual sensors installed, so a rating 3 suite can hold up to capacity 3 cameras, meaning you can buy thermo/low light/vision mag in one and likewise, microphones can be upgraded with add-ons at their listed price

your contacts are way over the availability limit too.

Ah hah.  Those were leftover from a previous character sheet for some reason. I'll tweak them into line in the next draft

I'll finish up the 2nd draft (hopefully with fluff background) when I hear back from you.
cool, sounds good

[ProfGast]

Ok, that's fine then, pick one bit and give me a strong issue with the piece of ware in question as per the rule box.

… Hah.  Do you know I completely missed that optional rule box?  I was just taking Omega as synonymous with "used" grade per the fluff comment "When many of us started out, there was also “used,” or to use modern terminology, “omega-class” cyberware."  That'll teach me to read crunch from their fluff.

I'll have to look at that ruleset to see what applies better    Leaning towards just "used" grade (essence spike) instead of "cranky breakdown" but let me know if you still want limitation on how much is 'used'.

Edit: After a quick lookover of my augments I realized I also did the Chemical Gland completely wrong so I'll have to juggle funding to cover costs there anyways (an extra ¥25,000 cost to deal with)

[Csjarrat]

used is fine mate, the essence loss is enough of a balance for that in my book

[eliwoodsain]

Any additional comments on my adjusted stats?

[saithor]

Any last things you want adjusted for my sheets Csjarret, or am I good?

[ProfGast]

Draft 2.
Redline
Alias: Ena O'Brien, Eve Hollins, Suzie Brown
Gender: F
Age: Early-Mid Twenties
Metatype: Human
Description:
Skin: Fair
Hair: Dark Red
Eyes: Brown
Freckles: No
Height: 5'6"
Weight: Not really your business
Redline is an energetic redhead who always seems to be moving even when she's in fact sitting still. "Animated' or "Lively" would be one way to describe her.  "High-strung" or "Mercurial" if you're feeling a bit less generous.   She wears her hair in a medium bob cut (doesn't let the hair grow much past chin length) and eschews cosmetics outside of special occasions.  She tends to dress utilitarian, and since she moonlights as an auto repairman is usually wearing something that she doesn't mind getting covered with grease or grime.

Background:
"If you must know, I spent what was probably the first decade or so of my life growing up in a research lab.  No, I wasn't related to any of the scientists.  Not like that in any case.  Lab experiment, that's me.    No real playmates.  Precious little human warmth.  Mostly just bright lights, scalpels, and periodic dunks in a foul tasting tank as far back as I remember.  They used to… you know what I don't really want to think about it.  Still have nightmares.

Been out more than 12 years now, lucked out when team with a conscience hit the facility and decided they couldn't just leave a little girl in the experiment pens.  Less to talk about since then.  Learned about people.  How to talk to them.  Learned about vehicles.  How to drive them.  Turns out what they did to me made me good at that.  Talk about a bloody silver lining. So if you need someone on your team who can hold her own in a fight, talk her way out of ones that don't seem quite as winnable, and can get you out of the fire, fast, if that's the way the chips fall then I'm your girl.  If you're trying to get something else from me?  Well sod off before you get yourself hurt." 
Karma Usage:
-08 ¥
-25 Willpower 1-->3
-25 Strength 1-->3
+10 Bonus
+10 Weak Immune System
+08 Uneducated
+07 Phobia
-02 Steely Eyed Wheelman
Total Remaining: 0
Priorities
A-Resources (450,000)
C-Attribs (20)
A-Skills (275k)
E-Metatype (Human, 1)
E-Magic (Mundane)
Attributes
BOD 3
AGI 3 (5)
REA 5 (7)
STR 3 (4)
WIL 3
LOG 3 (4)
INT 3
CHA 5
EDG 3
Ess 1.4
Qualities
Steely-Eyed Wheelman
Phobia (Moderate, Uncommon): Medical Facilities
Uneducated
Weak Immune System
Active Skills

Name	Rank	Pool
*Con	4	12
*Performance	4	12
*Impersonation	4	12
Etiquette	2	10
Perception	6	9
Pilot(G)	5	12
Negotiate	3	11
Intimidate	3	8
Unarmed(*NatW)	6	11(13)
Pilot(Wlk)	2	9
Pilot(Wtr)	2	9
Pilot(A)	2	9
*Sneaking	4	9
*Palming	4	9
*Disguise	4	7
Ewarfare	3	7
Computer	2	6
Auto Mechanic	4	8
Water Mechanic	2	6
Hardware	3	7
*Navigation	1	4
*Survival	1	4
*Tracking	1	4
*Running	1	5
*Swimming	1	5
*Gymnastics	1	6

*skill group
Knowledge Skills and Languages
English: N
French: 1
German: 3

Profession: Mechanic 3
Street: Londong Gangs 2
Street: London Area 3
Contacts
Mr. Smith, Fixer Loyalty 1, Rating 4

Evan O'Brien, Male Human, Retired Shadowrunner Loyalty 4 Rating 1
-Evan is easily Redline's oldest friend, since he's a member of the team who extracted her in the first place.   More than that, he gave her a name, and a home for a while.  He's long since left the biz, and is one of the lucky few who actually made it to retirement.  He is actually retired though so doesn't really have much in the way of contact with the shadows anymore but is always willing to give some fatherly advice to the girl he rescued from the corps all those years ago.

Jean Beaumont, Male Elf, "Used" Vehicle Dealer, Loyalty 2 Rating 3
-Beaumont is a mechanic and a vehicle salesman who Redline has both worked for him (as a mechanic) and also done work for him (as a runner).  He considers her a passable mechanic and a good wheelman as well as a good customer.
Gear
SIN R4 - Evelyn Hollins
License R4(x2)-Vehicle License, Drone License
SIN R1 - Suzanne Brown
Commlink - Hermes Ikon (DR5)
RCC- Maersk Spider (DR4, Data 4, Firewall 5)
Programs -Encryption. Signal Scrub, Toolbox, virtual Machine, Armor, Biofeedback Filter, Guard, Shell, Sneak, Wrapper
R3 Medkit
1 Month Middle lifestyle
¥285 worth of clothing
Synergist Business Suit
Ares Victory Globetrotter Jacket (Chem 4, Insulation 4)
Armante Dress
Shock Hands
Hardware Kit
Disguise Kit
Respirate (R6)
Standard Credstick (x5)
Silver Credstick
Contacts
-Image Link
-Thermovision
Datachip (x5)
Tag Eraser
Microtransciever
Augmentation
Cyberware
Olfactory Booster (R1)
Control Rig (R1)
Reaction Enhancers (R2)
Bioware
Muscle Augmentation (R1) Used Grade
Muscle Toner (R2) Used Grade
Sleep Regulator
Cerebral Booster (R1)
Tailored Pheremones (R3) Used Grade
Claw (Pair)
Chemical Gland (Narcojet)
Weapon Reservoir Gland Enhancement (Pair)
Mnemonic Enhancer (R1)
Geneware
Control Rig Optimization
Magnesense
Tetrachromacy
Vehicles&Drones
GMC Buldog Van (3/3 3 1 16 12 1 2 6)
-Rigger Interface, Manual Interface
-Morphing License Plate
-Auto Repair Kit
Hyundai Shin-Hyung (5/4 6 3 10 6 1 2 4)
-Rigger Interface, Manual Interface
-Morphing License Plate
Flyspy (4 3 2 1 0 3 3)
-Sensors: Camera, Omni directional Microphone, Directional Microphone
Flying Eye (4 3 2 1 0 3 3)
-Sensors: Camera(low light, Vision Mag), Camera(Thermo), Omni Microphone
Clearsight Autosoft (R2)

¥300 left over

[Csjarrat]

profgast, you've got the rigger slot.
you'll probably want spoof chips to match those morphing plates though as they'll only fool visuals, not gridguide or police checks.
If you want to make any tweaks before posting it up in the OOC: The Old Smoke thread that's great, otherwise finalise it and let me know where you're currently living (any city is fine, doesn't need to be London for this section)