NEWS

Where I have been

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firebug

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« on: (12:11:16/09-19-18) »
Hey.  It feels like months since I posted.  I have been, and still am, homeless...  I am in Philadelphia using a friend's phone as a Wifi hotspot to post this.

I haven't been able to post or do anything as the errata coordinator for a long time because of this.

I made a GoFundMe...  Please don't judge me for this or how I look.  I am at a more desperate place in my life than I ever wanted to endure.  Every day I go back and forth between pacing like a dissociative zombie and having sobbing fits and panic attacks.

https://www.gofundme.com/septa-passes-for-a-homeless-couple&rcid=r01-153737239534-a6320e14b6424491&pc=ot_co_campmgmt_m
I'm Madpath Moth on reddit (and other sites).  Feel free to PM me errata questions!
Jeeze.  It would almost sound stupid until you realize we're talking about an immortal elf clown sword fighting a dragon ghost in a mall.

Jack_Spade

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« Reply #1 on: (13:47:51/09-19-18) »
Hey. Hope this helps.
talk think matrix

To strive, to seek, to find and not to yield
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Reaver

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« Reply #2 on: (13:55:04/09-19-18) »
Take care of yourself first.

The errata and other shit can wait.
Where am I going? And why am I in a hand basket ???

Remember: You can't fix Stupid. But you can beat on it with a 2x4 until it smartens up! Or dies.

Sphinx

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« Reply #3 on: (15:03:07/09-19-18) »
Hang in there. Someday soon, I hope gaming will provide a welcome diversion for you. Until then, take care of yourself.

PingGuy

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« Reply #4 on: (15:25:17/09-19-18) »
I'm new around here but I've enjoyed reading your posts as I go through the older threads.  I hope you are able to get into the new place soon.  You will feel much better at that point.  Couldn't give much at this time, but I hope every little bit helps.

PiXeL01

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« Reply #5 on: (16:49:21/09-19-18) »
Stay safe and remember you are never truly alone. Asking for help is never shameful.
If Tom Brady’s a Spike Baby, what does that make Brees and Rodgers?

Stainless Steel Devil Rat

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« Reply #6 on: (16:59:33/09-19-18) »
There, but for the grace of God, go any of us.

I hope you get your feet back under you soon and this all just becomes something you overcame.
« Last Edit: (17:02:27/09-19-18) by Stainless Steel Devil Rat »

ClaytonCross

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« Reply #7 on: (03:31:26/09-20-18) »
Best of luck on finding your feet. May God grant you grace and may the kindness of others find you.
« Last Edit: (03:40:43/09-20-18) by ClaytonCross »
I write long and repetitive trying to be clear, I am bad at examples, so people commonly skim my posts pull out the idea they think I mean or want to argue against or focus on my bad example instead of my actual point. I apologies for the confusion my failure to be clear and concise creates.

FastJack

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« Reply #8 on: (22:53:49/09-20-18) »
Sometimes, you guys give me hope. I'm checking firebug's gofundme, and I see an anonymous $1000 donation. Damn cybercat allergies are making me tear up.

firebug

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« Reply #9 on: (14:12:03/09-21-18) »
Even with everyone's extremely gracious donations,I am still homeless...

Let me give everyone backstory. It is alot of personal info, but I don't care at this point.  I'm 26, and mentally ill. Borderline Personality Disorder, Major Depression, General Anxiety, Social Anxiety, Body Dysmorphic Disorder...  I have been struggling with this for years, over a decade.  I have applied for SSI Disability twice but have been rejected.  My work history is terrible; what few jobs I can handle without having panic attacks are not interested in hiring someone who has only been working for maybe 9 months total in their lifetime.  I can't find work anywhere, and temp work is too difficult and harsh (anyone who has done is knows how punishing it is).

I'm homeless with my boyfriend Caleb, and he is currently trying to survive a cold storage temp job for 9 dollars an hour, and he can't keep waking up at 6 AM after sleeping in the street for this. His feet are developing fungus because we have to sleep with our boots on.  Two nights ago we had to brush broken glass to the side so we could sleep near a dumpster behind a closed Little Ceasar's.  We had a porch we could sleep on that was part of a condemned home (from a fire). It isn't being used; it can't be used.  But someone called the cops and forced us to move.

As your donations have shown, we are not broke.  Instead, we have been denied by everyone we speak to about housing.  We are in Philadelphia...  Every place we speak to for single rooms (costing 125-200 a week, x3 to move in) says no.  Usually they don't accept couples. But lately they have been saying no because I am unemployed.

A woman on the phone said. "You're unemployed?  What happens if your boyfriend loses his job?" Even though that makes no sense.  Last I checked, a single person didn't need to have redundant incomes just to sleep inside.  If you can, and have to, take that risk with literally every single occupancy room, why does it disqualify us?

There is one singular homeless shelter in the city, yes I am being literal, we have checked, that would accept both myself and my boyfriend.  Everywhere else only accepts one gender, or couples with children.  And that shelter is in a back alley, guarded with cameras and barbed wire.  We can't be in line before 6 PM, so the homeless have to wait around down the street where people live.  Then at 6, they line up, and the shelter opens at 7 PM so everyone must stand there for the hour even in the rain lest they lose their spot in the shelter (which can only hold so many).  Then they scan you for metal,go through all of your bags and remove anything they deem dangerous,and let you go into one big room to sleep on plastic mats from a school's gym class.  You can leave at 6AM.  They treat you like a convicted prisoner.  We cannot do that; Caleb would not be able to make it to his job, and he would be coming home with an hour or two at most before we have to be in line again.

Hospitals won't help us because we don't have insurance.  Every government resource we go to for the homeless says they can't help us; we then get a paper of "resources" which is a bunch of numbers to other government groups or other place.  Every single resource is always wrong.  We always call every number. They all say that our list was wrong, they don't do that, or don't anymore, or they just don't answer, or they are closed permanently.  Or, we get another location to go to, where we are turned down because of bad information, and given another list of numbers that are all wrong.  This has happened around 5 times. Each time costing us money for public transportation and entire days of our precious time.

Almost every night I have panic attacks and sobbing fits.  Most nights I end up suicidal, only alive because Caleb will physically stop me from trying to kill myself.  I have made so many plans...  I have personally experienced many of the worst parts of society as it lets me die slowly and painfully.  I have been let down by every group claiming it helps; hospitals, mental health facilities, the government, non-profit groups...  Every realtor is unwilling to listen or compromise.  Society has made it clear to me...

I don't deserve to live. Even my boyfriend is being punished for trying to take care of me, because he is homeless still because of the multiple times that my inability to work has cost us a place.  My family won't help;they are why I am homeless.  What few friends I have in the area can't provide us a place to sleep.  I am not homeless because of lack of money, or having commited crimes, or even wronged anyone.  I am homeless because every chance they get, people have decided I don't deserve so much as a place to sleep.

If you don't hear from me again... Now you know why.  I'm so sorry...  You guys are the only community I have, and its clear many of you are nice, empathic people, who genuinely hate that this kind of thing happens.  I wish I could keep giving back to this community... But my chances are less and less every day of surviving to see the next, whether I die from someone else or having my mental disorders get the best of me.  I take some solace is knowing that many of you understand... I won't pretend a game like Shadowrun doesn't appeal to a certain type of person.  The kind of people who know our society is broken and corrupted.  The kind of people who wish they could just go out and make an impact, any impact, just to show that the way things are isn't okay.

If I don't make it...  I hope the errata team's next coordinator does better than I did.  Thank you all for everything.
I'm Madpath Moth on reddit (and other sites).  Feel free to PM me errata questions!
Jeeze.  It would almost sound stupid until you realize we're talking about an immortal elf clown sword fighting a dragon ghost in a mall.

adzling

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« Reply #10 on: (15:23:39/09-21-18) »
Oh my Firebug, what a shitshow and what a huge amount of courage it must take to post the intimate details of your life in a public forum.

I wish I could fix your problem, if you were closer I'd offer you both a job at a living wage, at least until you got on your feet.

Unfortunately I'm in a different city clear across the other side of the country, and one that has a very high cost of living that far exceeds Philly.

I wish our country wasn't run by the poor-hating, get-off-my-lawn GOP that is ruining so many people's live with their failed ideology. I have personally witnessed a friend die due to the previous ability of insurance companies to deny and cancel coverage for pre-existing conditions. Yaay for the GOP bringing that one back after their partial repeal of Obamacare, not.

Unfortunately I don't see our country changing any time soon.

I'm happy you've at least got someone with you to lean on.

Please do not consider anything drastic.
Please keep putting one foot in front of another.
Please know that there is good in this world and people do care for you.
Please know that you are a valued and worthy person.

Once your current gofundme is up please post another one, spread it around on the reddit srun forums as well.
If we can raise enough money for a security deposit and one month of living expenses that should help you get on your feet.

The community will help.

I will help.

You are valued.

PingGuy

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« Reply #11 on: (15:31:27/09-21-18) »
Please know that no matter how shitty the world is, you still have value.  With your conditions it will be very hard for you to see it.  But it's obvious that Caleb sees it.  Trust that he's right, and that you will feel better about yourself once your situation improves, even if that will always be a personal struggle for you.

I wish that I could point you to a solution that would make everything better.  If nothing else, keep trying to get some money together.  People may suck, but money will get you a place eventually, no matter what people think of your situation.  Support each other as best as you can, you will need each other to get through this.

You are intelligent and well spoken, that's a leg up over a lot of other people when applying for a job.  Confidence will come as things start to break your way.  Do what you can to get into a place, and then focus on stabilizing yourself and finding a job.  Anybody would be having panic attacks in your situation.  Most people couldn't handle trying to survive on the streets.  The people who are telling you no for jobs probably couldn't handle it either.  Take that as a sign of your strength.

Please know that there are people out there who care, most just aren't in a good position to help when these kinds of things happen.  Try to find a couch to crash on, even if it's a week or a few days at a time.  Maximize Caleb's ability to work, and focus on getting off the streets.  You can put the rest of your life back together once you are in a better place physically and mentally.

Magnaric

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« Reply #12 on: (16:52:15/09-21-18) »
I'm in an entirely different country(Canada, but still), and seeing this kind of thing going on really bothers me. I have a close friend with a ton of mental health issues and other factors that prevent her from working a lot, but I've never seen her denied help due to lack of insurance and all that bs.

Firebug, I PM'd you about cross-posting to Reddit for visibility, and I'll continue to help however I can. Hang in there. Even if it doesn't feel like it at times, you have an entire online community of people from all over that very much know you have value, and would like to see you succeed.

The advice others gave here is solid. Focus on Caleb and his job, and keep reaching out to us. We'll be here.
"Fast is fine, but accuracy is everything."
-Wyatt Earp

Spooky

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« Reply #13 on: (17:09:23/09-21-18) »
Oh. My.

So, life for Firebug sucks balls right now. The question on my mind is "What are we going to do about it?" We helped Sterling through everyone except his wife abandoning him (rather rudely, imo), so what are we going to do for Firebug? While I don't have money to spare (my wife is fighting cancer), I do have Real Estate knowledge. I can try to find a home for purchase. Can everyone else work on getting a down payment together for Firebug? I would need someone that lives within an hour or so of Philly to help me. Anyone up for some driving? And to make this idea work, roughly where in Philly do you need to live, Firebug? I'll need a zip code or three, or some neighborhood/district names, whatever works for you.

Edit: after a few minutes looking online, I've found about a dozen places running between 20-30 thousand, so if we can come up with about 35,000, that would straight out buy any one of those places. most need work, but still...
« Last Edit: (17:30:40/09-21-18) by Spooky »
Spooky, what do you do this pass? Shoot him with my thunderstruck gauss rifle. (Rolls)  8 hits. Does that blow his head off?

Bamce

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« Reply #14 on: (17:55:20/09-21-18) »
Quote

 I would need someone that lives within an hour or so of Philly to help me.


I live about an hour outside philly. I have sent her a message to get in contact with me