Shadowrun

Shadowrun General => General Discussion => Topic started by: firebug on (12:11:16/09-19-18)

Title: Where I have been
Post by: firebug on (12:11:16/09-19-18)
Hey.  It feels like months since I posted.  I have been, and still am, homeless...  I am in Philadelphia using a friend's phone as a Wifi hotspot to post this.

I haven't been able to post or do anything as the errata coordinator for a long time because of this.

I made a GoFundMe...  Please don't judge me for this or how I look.  I am at a more desperate place in my life than I ever wanted to endure.  Every day I go back and forth between pacing like a dissociative zombie and having sobbing fits and panic attacks.

https://www.gofundme.com/septa-passes-for-a-homeless-couple&rcid=r01-153737239534-a6320e14b6424491&pc=ot_co_campmgmt_m
Title: Re: Where I have been
Post by: Jack_Spade on (13:47:51/09-19-18)
Hey. Hope this helps.
Title: Re: Where I have been
Post by: Reaver on (13:55:04/09-19-18)
Take care of yourself first.

The errata and other shit can wait.
Title: Re: Where I have been
Post by: Sphinx on (15:03:07/09-19-18)
Hang in there. Someday soon, I hope gaming will provide a welcome diversion for you. Until then, take care of yourself.
Title: Re: Where I have been
Post by: PingGuy on (15:25:17/09-19-18)
I'm new around here but I've enjoyed reading your posts as I go through the older threads.  I hope you are able to get into the new place soon.  You will feel much better at that point.  Couldn't give much at this time, but I hope every little bit helps.
Title: Re: Where I have been
Post by: PiXeL01 on (16:49:21/09-19-18)
Stay safe and remember you are never truly alone. Asking for help is never shameful.
Title: Re: Where I have been
Post by: Stainless Steel Devil Rat on (16:59:33/09-19-18)
There, but for the grace of God, go any of us.

I hope you get your feet back under you soon and this all just becomes something you overcame.
Title: Re: Where I have been
Post by: ClaytonCross on (03:31:26/09-20-18)
Best of luck on finding your feet. May God grant you grace and may the kindness of others find you.
Title: Re: Where I have been
Post by: FastJack on (22:53:49/09-20-18)
Sometimes, you guys give me hope. I'm checking firebug's gofundme, and I see an anonymous $1000 donation. Damn cybercat allergies are making me tear up.
Title: Re: Where I have been
Post by: firebug on (14:12:03/09-21-18)
Even with everyone's extremely gracious donations,I am still homeless...

Let me give everyone backstory. It is alot of personal info, but I don't care at this point.  I'm 26, and mentally ill. Borderline Personality Disorder, Major Depression, General Anxiety, Social Anxiety, Body Dysmorphic Disorder...  I have been struggling with this for years, over a decade.  I have applied for SSI Disability twice but have been rejected.  My work history is terrible; what few jobs I can handle without having panic attacks are not interested in hiring someone who has only been working for maybe 9 months total in their lifetime.  I can't find work anywhere, and temp work is too difficult and harsh (anyone who has done is knows how punishing it is).

I'm homeless with my boyfriend Caleb, and he is currently trying to survive a cold storage temp job for 9 dollars an hour, and he can't keep waking up at 6 AM after sleeping in the street for this. His feet are developing fungus because we have to sleep with our boots on.  Two nights ago we had to brush broken glass to the side so we could sleep near a dumpster behind a closed Little Ceasar's.  We had a porch we could sleep on that was part of a condemned home (from a fire). It isn't being used; it can't be used.  But someone called the cops and forced us to move.

As your donations have shown, we are not broke.  Instead, we have been denied by everyone we speak to about housing.  We are in Philadelphia...  Every place we speak to for single rooms (costing 125-200 a week, x3 to move in) says no.  Usually they don't accept couples. But lately they have been saying no because I am unemployed.

A woman on the phone said. "You're unemployed?  What happens if your boyfriend loses his job?" Even though that makes no sense.  Last I checked, a single person didn't need to have redundant incomes just to sleep inside.  If you can, and have to, take that risk with literally every single occupancy room, why does it disqualify us?

There is one singular homeless shelter in the city, yes I am being literal, we have checked, that would accept both myself and my boyfriend.  Everywhere else only accepts one gender, or couples with children.  And that shelter is in a back alley, guarded with cameras and barbed wire.  We can't be in line before 6 PM, so the homeless have to wait around down the street where people live.  Then at 6, they line up, and the shelter opens at 7 PM so everyone must stand there for the hour even in the rain lest they lose their spot in the shelter (which can only hold so many).  Then they scan you for metal,go through all of your bags and remove anything they deem dangerous,and let you go into one big room to sleep on plastic mats from a school's gym class.  You can leave at 6AM.  They treat you like a convicted prisoner.  We cannot do that; Caleb would not be able to make it to his job, and he would be coming home with an hour or two at most before we have to be in line again.

Hospitals won't help us because we don't have insurance.  Every government resource we go to for the homeless says they can't help us; we then get a paper of "resources" which is a bunch of numbers to other government groups or other place.  Every single resource is always wrong.  We always call every number. They all say that our list was wrong, they don't do that, or don't anymore, or they just don't answer, or they are closed permanently.  Or, we get another location to go to, where we are turned down because of bad information, and given another list of numbers that are all wrong.  This has happened around 5 times. Each time costing us money for public transportation and entire days of our precious time.

Almost every night I have panic attacks and sobbing fits.  Most nights I end up suicidal, only alive because Caleb will physically stop me from trying to kill myself.  I have made so many plans...  I have personally experienced many of the worst parts of society as it lets me die slowly and painfully.  I have been let down by every group claiming it helps; hospitals, mental health facilities, the government, non-profit groups...  Every realtor is unwilling to listen or compromise.  Society has made it clear to me...

I don't deserve to live. Even my boyfriend is being punished for trying to take care of me, because he is homeless still because of the multiple times that my inability to work has cost us a place.  My family won't help;they are why I am homeless.  What few friends I have in the area can't provide us a place to sleep.  I am not homeless because of lack of money, or having commited crimes, or even wronged anyone.  I am homeless because every chance they get, people have decided I don't deserve so much as a place to sleep.

If you don't hear from me again... Now you know why.  I'm so sorry...  You guys are the only community I have, and its clear many of you are nice, empathic people, who genuinely hate that this kind of thing happens.  I wish I could keep giving back to this community... But my chances are less and less every day of surviving to see the next, whether I die from someone else or having my mental disorders get the best of me.  I take some solace is knowing that many of you understand... I won't pretend a game like Shadowrun doesn't appeal to a certain type of person.  The kind of people who know our society is broken and corrupted.  The kind of people who wish they could just go out and make an impact, any impact, just to show that the way things are isn't okay.

If I don't make it...  I hope the errata team's next coordinator does better than I did.  Thank you all for everything.
Title: Re: Where I have been
Post by: adzling on (15:23:39/09-21-18)
Oh my Firebug, what a shitshow and what a huge amount of courage it must take to post the intimate details of your life in a public forum.

I wish I could fix your problem, if you were closer I'd offer you both a job at a living wage, at least until you got on your feet.

Unfortunately I'm in a different city clear across the other side of the country, and one that has a very high cost of living that far exceeds Philly.

I wish our country wasn't run by the poor-hating, get-off-my-lawn GOP that is ruining so many people's live with their failed ideology. I have personally witnessed a friend die due to the previous ability of insurance companies to deny and cancel coverage for pre-existing conditions. Yaay for the GOP bringing that one back after their partial repeal of Obamacare, not.

Unfortunately I don't see our country changing any time soon.

I'm happy you've at least got someone with you to lean on.

Please do not consider anything drastic.
Please keep putting one foot in front of another.
Please know that there is good in this world and people do care for you.
Please know that you are a valued and worthy person.

Once your current gofundme is up please post another one, spread it around on the reddit srun forums as well.
If we can raise enough money for a security deposit and one month of living expenses that should help you get on your feet.

The community will help.

I will help.

You are valued.
Title: Re: Where I have been
Post by: PingGuy on (15:31:27/09-21-18)
Please know that no matter how shitty the world is, you still have value.  With your conditions it will be very hard for you to see it.  But it's obvious that Caleb sees it.  Trust that he's right, and that you will feel better about yourself once your situation improves, even if that will always be a personal struggle for you.

I wish that I could point you to a solution that would make everything better.  If nothing else, keep trying to get some money together.  People may suck, but money will get you a place eventually, no matter what people think of your situation.  Support each other as best as you can, you will need each other to get through this.

You are intelligent and well spoken, that's a leg up over a lot of other people when applying for a job.  Confidence will come as things start to break your way.  Do what you can to get into a place, and then focus on stabilizing yourself and finding a job.  Anybody would be having panic attacks in your situation.  Most people couldn't handle trying to survive on the streets.  The people who are telling you no for jobs probably couldn't handle it either.  Take that as a sign of your strength.

Please know that there are people out there who care, most just aren't in a good position to help when these kinds of things happen.  Try to find a couch to crash on, even if it's a week or a few days at a time.  Maximize Caleb's ability to work, and focus on getting off the streets.  You can put the rest of your life back together once you are in a better place physically and mentally.
Title: Re: Where I have been
Post by: Magnaric on (16:52:15/09-21-18)
I'm in an entirely different country(Canada, but still), and seeing this kind of thing going on really bothers me. I have a close friend with a ton of mental health issues and other factors that prevent her from working a lot, but I've never seen her denied help due to lack of insurance and all that bs.

Firebug, I PM'd you about cross-posting to Reddit for visibility, and I'll continue to help however I can. Hang in there. Even if it doesn't feel like it at times, you have an entire online community of people from all over that very much know you have value, and would like to see you succeed.

The advice others gave here is solid. Focus on Caleb and his job, and keep reaching out to us. We'll be here.
Title: Re: Where I have been
Post by: Spooky on (17:09:23/09-21-18)
Oh. My.

So, life for Firebug sucks balls right now. The question on my mind is "What are we going to do about it?" We helped Sterling through everyone except his wife abandoning him (rather rudely, imo), so what are we going to do for Firebug? While I don't have money to spare (my wife is fighting cancer), I do have Real Estate knowledge. I can try to find a home for purchase. Can everyone else work on getting a down payment together for Firebug? I would need someone that lives within an hour or so of Philly to help me. Anyone up for some driving? And to make this idea work, roughly where in Philly do you need to live, Firebug? I'll need a zip code or three, or some neighborhood/district names, whatever works for you.

Edit: after a few minutes looking online, I've found about a dozen places running between 20-30 thousand, so if we can come up with about 35,000, that would straight out buy any one of those places. most need work, but still...
Title: Re: Where I have been
Post by: Bamce on (17:55:20/09-21-18)
Quote

 I would need someone that lives within an hour or so of Philly to help me.


I live about an hour outside philly. I have sent her a message to get in contact with me
Title: Re: Where I have been
Post by: Eric da MAJ on (19:16:44/09-21-18)
God what a horrible situation.  I hope things get better.  As long as you can keep pushing breath between your teeth they generally do.
Title: Re: Where I have been
Post by: FastJack on (00:05:03/09-22-18)
Quote

 I would need someone that lives within an hour or so of Philly to help me.


I live about an hour outside philly. I have sent her a message to get in contact with me
I'm an hour north as well. I sent her a message offering help, if you hear anything let me know. I pretty good at finding some rentals and apartments near public transportation, so getting out of the city might be an option too.
Title: Re: Where I have been
Post by: adzling on (13:03:02/09-22-18)
firebug's gofundme is up to $4126.

nice going srun community!!!
Title: Re: Where I have been
Post by: TonyK on (18:31:51/09-22-18)
Please stay safe, and know that people are rooting for you.
Title: Re: Where I have been
Post by: Spooky on (15:19:43/09-24-18)
@Bamce and Fast Jack: I can do the research and pricing from here. What I'd need your help for is to go physically look at the places, especially if you can get either Firebug or Caleb to go with you, and/or be the "Acquisitions Inc." representative that signs the sale contract. Given what Firebug shared, I am thinking it will be best to simply find a place for sale and outright purchase it. That way there's no landlord saying "well, now ya gotta get out" or anything. If Firebug and Caleb straight up own their place, it's going to be very hard to kick them out, unlike any rental space.
Title: Re: Where I have been
Post by: Bamce on (22:25:26/09-24-18)
An update

As of today 9-24 they are both under a roof in their name, with a belly full of pizza. With the money they have raised they should be good on rent through novemeber.

They are going to be looking into getting ongoing internet access “soon”. For no the worst is behind them.

Thank you guys.
Title: Re: Where I have been
Post by: Stainless Steel Devil Rat on (22:33:28/09-24-18)
An update

As of today 9-24 they are both under a roof in their name, with a belly full of pizza. With the money they have raised they should be good on rent through novemeber.

They are going to be looking into getting ongoing internet access “soon”. For no the worst is behind them.

Thank you guys.

Thanks for the update.  Being a fellow member of the Shadowrun community and having grown up in that area, I feel a degree of kinship with these people I've never actually met.  I'm glad for them that things are on the upturn.
Title: Re: Where I have been
Post by: Spooky on (23:18:37/09-24-18)
Good to hear. Can you ask if they want me to keep looking for places to buy?
Title: Re: Where I have been
Post by: Michael Chandra on (23:54:15/09-24-18)
Glad they're out of the woods for now. Thank you all.
Title: Re: Where I have been
Post by: Carmody on (04:47:10/09-25-18)
There's little I can do from France, apart from the GoFundMe.
I'm happy to read that you folks can organize to help them.
Stay strong Firebug & Caleb!
Title: Re: Where I have been
Post by: PiXeL01 on (05:24:50/09-25-18)
Same can be said from Japan. At least now they have a roof over their heads they can call their own.
Title: Re: Where I have been
Post by: Kiirnodel on (07:05:52/09-25-18)
Good to hear. Can you ask if they want me to keep looking for places to buy?

In many ways owning can be more stressful than renting. When you rent, the landlord is responsible for maintenance, taxes, and the other minutia of property management. Better to keep those worries as someone else's problem...
Title: Re: Where I have been
Post by: Bamce on (08:17:46/09-25-18)
Good to hear. Can you ask if they want me to keep looking for places to buy?

When I talk to them next I will it up. But I think “buy” is outside the scope of what they can do for now
Title: Re: Where I have been
Post by: ClaytonCross on (00:03:05/09-26-18)
An update

As of today 9-24 they are both under a roof in their name, with a belly full of pizza. With the money they have raised they should be good on rent through novemeber.

They are going to be looking into getting ongoing internet access “soon”. For no the worst is behind them.

Thank you guys.

What a relief…. I am in Japan and donating a little money is all I can do. I am glad to hear things have shifted in the right direction. I will keep tabs but at the same time my mom is heading into surgery next week so my attention is divided and I need to keep my emergency fly home money until I at least know that is ok.

Firebug, my mom is manic depressive. I may not truly know what your going through but I have been through suicide attempts and mental distress most of my life, while I can't do much to help I hope the support you have gotten gets you through and you know your not alone. Some of us are aware of the failures and stigma you face from the organizations your dealing with that are intended to help poeple just like you, in just your situation. My heart goes out to you. I don't know how you feel about relegion, I hope you don't mind if put you and your boyfriend in my prayers.

Title: Re: Where I have been
Post by: Bamce on (16:53:21/09-26-18)
Update off their go fund me page

Quote
We have a place! After almost a month of hell, we are finally in stable housing. Thanks to everyone being so kind and generous.

I don't know what to say. At times it really, genuinely felt like this wouldn't end. Maybe that is shortsighted, but when every night and day was so full of pain and fear it became too difficult and too frightening to look to the future.

But that time has passed. We are now working towards getting ourselves set up, reacquiring things we lost and working on things we needed an address to do.

This was one of the most difficult and painful experiences either of us had to endure. We saw some of the worst and best people had to offer. Again, thank all of you for the help and support you gave us. I wish all of you long and happy lives.

Title: Re: Where I have been
Post by: Spooky on (17:08:40/09-26-18)
Thanks for the update, Bamce.
Title: Re: Where I have been
Post by: ClaytonCross on (19:58:44/12-20-18)
Any updates, Last I heard they had a home but we have not heard from then since.
Title: Re: Where I have been
Post by: Magnaric on (10:31:10/12-29-18)
I spoke with her through PM recently. Don't want to go into too much detail, as it's not my place to do so, but sounds like she's in a better position than before but still struggling a bit.
Title: Re: Where I have been
Post by: Stainless Steel Devil Rat on (10:44:18/12-29-18)
Most of what the Errata team does is where we don't see it anyway, so I wasn't overly concerned we hadn't been hearing from her of late.  It's kind of the norm for the role :D

Still given tribulations she went through, glad to have some second hand confirmation that things have at least gotten better.
Title: Re: Where I have been
Post by: Spooky on (17:18:47/01-07-19)
Most of what the Errata team does is where we don't see it anyway, so I wasn't overly concerned we hadn't been hearing from her of late.  It's kind of the norm for the role :D

Still given tribulations she went through, glad to have some second hand confirmation that things have at least gotten better.

Agreed.
Title: Re: Where I have been
Post by: SmilinIrish on (20:31:06/01-31-19)
How you doing firebug?  Keeping wondering, hope y'all are ok.
Title: Re: Where I have been
Post by: ClaytonCross on (00:45:35/02-14-19)
How you doing firebug?  Keeping wondering, hope y'all are ok.

Ya, me too. Hope things are progressivly improving. Keep checking this thread hoping for an update that says they are getting back to a good place.