Shadowrun
Shadowrun General => General Discussion => Topic started by: Onion Man on <07-31-11/0223:05>
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Joe M: (GM Rolls lots of dice). Dagon, What's you reaction?
Paul: His reaction is tears.
Joe M: So the professionals went (about Solomon and Partisan)
Joe C: I don't even know your character's name.
Matt: It's Partisan
Someone: He's bland...
Joe C: It's because we don't ever have to yell about him.
Justin: because frankly, I'd really like to start committing crime "Outside" this building.
Paul: Next time we need to leave a responsible adult with NML.
Joe C: But, Hans is with me!
Paul: I'm actually clinging to his back like some sort of feral Ewok.
Justin: Today I have forgiven all of your incompetencies (directed at Joe C).
Matt: Technically, he went down plowing into a crowd of civilians.
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Mage: Why are you hiding behind me?
Rigger: No-one is shooting in your direction
GM: Really? How did I forget that?
Mage and Rigger: %$#@!
Street Sam: Angrily kicks reinforced security door (with his customised LMG behind it), dents it a lot
Hacker already in system: Opens maglock, door LED glows green and swings open
Hacker: You're welcome
Street Sam now Armed with favourite LMG (which he loves in a way that is borderline unhealthy) Charges out to doorway, announcing his presence to the incoming mercs
Mercs: 3x Full auto-bursts with Assault rifles and APDS
Street Sam: Now unconscious plus overflow
PC Sniper on overwatch: That went well....
Hacker: Err, we have another SWAT team coming in from the South.
Mage under spirit concealment (Smugly) Yeah, I got this
1 Edge Empowered Stunball and 6 drain later, SWAT team is unconscious (Optional rule for Direct combat spell successes adding drain is enforced)
Mage picks himself up after knocking himself prone from self-inflicted damage): Ugh, Showing off %$#@! hurts.....
Hacker: Please don't show off in my direction. I have willpower of 3 :(
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GM: Two gangers walk into the Stuffer Shack. "Everyone get by the freezer!" one yells. Roll for Initiative.
*Adept goes first*
Adept: i use a free Action to crush my cup of Soykaf!
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Old but good quotes
Street Sam: "How can you tell if you're on fire if you can't see?"
Ghoul Mage: "Er...OW OW OW OW OW?"
Ghoul Mage after an unarmed (claws) critical success: "There's a guy stuck on the end of my arm!"
Troll to a bereaved widow: "Tell me what I want to know! Tell me what I want to know or I CRUSH YOU!
During our only car chase
Ghoul Mage: "I want to summon an Earth Spirit infront of them."
GM: "Let me just roll their driving to see if they dodge.."
Ghoul Mage: "An inch in front of them."
GM:"...Oh."
Troll: "I believe in the insurance industry we call that a write-off."
Troll: "I'm just going into the bathroom for twenty minutes. And taking the gun with me."
Troll: "Yo! Gun-wielding maniac!"
Adept: "Yes?"
Face: "How do I convince him it's genuine?"
GM: "Er...roll your negotiation skill?"
GM: "I don't know what the verb is... 'to helicopter'..."
Drake: "Fly."
Troll: "I'm not going to carry my boom stick on the ship. If it goes off, we'll sink."
Troll: "I'm doing chin-ups on the crane."
GM: "I should really roll the crane's resistance..."
Adept:"I flip them a bird."
GM: *gathers dice*
Adept: "No, OH GOD, I didn't MEAN that!"
Ghoul Mage: "Unless I want to find some unimportant crewmembers and kill them, I've got nothing else to do."
Street Sam: *Starts rolling armourer*
Ghoul Mage: "I can see the blueprints for this gun now...'death comes out of this end.'"
Drake about a jittery npc: "Can someone install this guy a cyber-spine?"
GM: "What's your perception roll?"
Ghoul Mage: "For being blind?"
We meet a Wendigo
GM: "The giant monster clomps over towards you-"
Technomancer and Street Sam in unison: "Awww, it's so CUTE!"
Rigger: "No Dwarf-tossing!"
Street Sam: "I can't remember where my memory roll is..."
Lonestar: "May I see some ID please sir?"
Rigger: "No, you may not. Rotor drone called shot to the head please..."
Rigger: "There's cover, open ground, explosives and chaotic space that we don't know what's going on in."
GM: "it's an AIRFIELD."
GM: "What's your perception at -6?"
Ghoul Mage: "I'm blind. ZERO."
Adept: "So, what are we doing now?"
Onlooker: "You're playing Shadowrun. Pay attention."
GM: "How do you get into the sewers?"
Ghoul Mage: "I'm a ghoul! I rip the cover off and if anyone asks I say WHAT? I'M A GHOUL! WOULD YOU RATHER I WALKED UP HERE?"
GM:"Er...good point."
Face: "Did you get a spare run flat tire?"
Adept: "Now you see why I have to kill everyone in the first shot!"
Ghoul Mage: "You lot are too busy being EMO!"
Drake upon waking in South America: "Guys, is there jungle in Seattle?"
Street Sam+New Grenade Launcher: "I killed a wall, yay!"
GM: "Just so you know, the thing you're jacking into is worth 1.8 million."
Rigger: "Awesome. That's going down in flames."
GM: "So it's resisting seventeen plus fifteen plus seventeen...that's fifty points of damage to soak...oh, frag it."
Rigger: "Can we take the cargo plane?"
GM: "No, you VAPORISED the cargo plane."
Face to Rigger: "If you've got morphing license plates then why are you paying PARKING TICKETS?"
Rigger: "I don't deal with this Matrix rubbish."
GM: "You're a RIGGER!"
Christain Mage: "What happens if I throw holy water on the Ghoul Mage?"
GM: "He get's wet."
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OOC: "This is Shadowrun, it doesn't matter what we do, it's like a Bruce Lee movie. We go to the corner store for some milk and suddenly... NINJAS!"
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Sniper is trying to get up onto the roof in a coffin motel, carrying his sniper rifle in a guitar case.
Sniper: "I walk in the front door."
GM: "Okay, you see a locked door heading upstairs and a man behind a desk. He asks, 'can I help you?'"
Sniper: "Shit..." brief pause, "I ask him where the bathroom is."
GM: "He points to a door behind him. It's a public restroom with multiple stalls."
Sniper: "I walk into the bathroom and start assembling my sniper rifle." (A barret 121)
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(After the dwarf Physad one shots a vatjob sneaking up on the group)
Party: What was that??
Dwarf: Tourist.
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(GM and I have a habit of riffing off one another, improvising as we go)
Bartender Contact: Oh no, remember what happened the LAST TIME I helped you out?
Hellyeah: Hey, in my defense, I didn't know she was a nun and it looked like an assault cannon.
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GM: Two gangers walk into the Stuffer Shack. "Everyone get by the freezer!" one yells. Roll for Initiative.
*Adept goes first*
Adept: i use a free Action to crush my cup of Soykaf!
Best use of a free action. Ever.
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Gaff the Ork Hacker (Acting, badly, as Eurotrash Nobility): "Troll One, carry me. Troll two, beat up the elf for my amusement."
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Scene: Ork Sammie is at his doss, chillin on the couch. Pair of "bad guys" bust down his door.
Sammie: Who are you???
"Bad Guys"(in unison): SMITH AND WESSON!!! *BLAM BLAM BLAM BLAM BLAM!!!!!*
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A long time ago in a module far, far away...
Runner 1: What happened to the face? I thought he had DocWagon?
Runner 2: He did. But they let Euphoria get in the helicopter with him. She pushed him out 30 stories up while he was still strapped to the gurney.
Runner 1: Sigh...I'll get the monofilament spatula....
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"...for I doubt even an hour had gone by when someone picked my lock with a shotgun blast." (http://canray.deviantart.com/gallery/2884133)
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"...for I doubt even an hour had gone by when someone picked my lock with a shotgun blast." (http://canray.deviantart.com/gallery/2884133)
*same situation*
Troll Merc: "AVON CALLING!"
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From our brand new campaign, in which my GM foolishly asked me to be a player:
Mr. Johnson to the team, gesturing to the bar: "Help yourself to a drink."
Bad Wolf, Hobgoblin Street Merc: *Pulls out his Smart Canteen and starts filling it from the most expensive bottle of Scotch he can find*
Jameson, Ork Street Sam, hopping in the team's van on our first run, together. Our Hacker, a young Japanese fellow, is already on board. Our Rigger is an AI, who is actually driving.
GM: "There's a little skinny Asian guy, sitting in the driver's seat. As the van pulls away from the curb, you notice that his hands aren't on the wheel."
Jameson: "Where are his ha...oh, GOD, pull over!"
Bad Wolf to Jameson, after Jameson made a snide remark. (Yes. To the Hobgoblin. ::) )
Following comment was made after passing Composure check:
Bad Wolf: "Listen, tusk-boy, if you wanna work with me, I got just three rules you need to remember"
Jameson: "Oh, do tell."
Bad Wolf: *Holds up three fingers* "Finish the job."
Bad Wolf: *Holding up two fingers* "Protect your team."
Bad Wolf: *Holding up middle finger* "DON'T. %$#@. WITH BAD WOLF."
(Throwing one in from our old D&D game.)
Our current SR4 GM and Jameson's player are both rogues, leading a band of soldiers on a raid of the Bad Guy's castle. They inadvertently set off one of the most evil traps in the fortress - both PCs survive by diving through a secret passage, but the entire unit they are leading in gets dowsed with Greek Fire and dies a horrible, horrible death. The mercenary company commander arrives on the scene - it's total carnage, a hundred burnt, smoking bodies - and demands "What happened?!"
"Jameson" looks him straight in the eye, and totally deadpan says...
"We think there may have been a trap."
-Jn-
Ifriti Sophist
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GM: Okay Luke what are you doing?
Luke (Street Sam): Trying to make coffee.
GM: Okay Maddy what are you doing?
Maddy:Hacking his coffee maker.
Luke: Really?! Every day?
Maddy: Can I hack his toaster too?
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Vic the Cabbie: "OK folks, let's go kidnap ourselves a cartoon."
And they did. ;D
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[PostMan leans over to Thaumaturge]
PostMan: How do you say your name?
Thaumaturge: With my mouth. Why, what did you use?
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Possible followup:
PostMan: "How do you pronounce your name?"
Thaumaturge: "Correctly."
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Bound and gaged Coyote Shaman "MUrrrruruuumph mur msssmmml"
E-vil generic moustache-twisting "bad" guy: "Remove that gag...now what did you say?"
Not so gaged Shaman: "I said: MUrrrruruuumph mur msssmmml'"
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(A combat Adept Drake with the Smashing Blow power has just taken a swing at a concrete wall, dealing ~30 damage to it. I'm rolling the wall's damage resistance.)
Me/GM: Do walls have Edge?
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Line I'm working on for a story: "Damn thing wouldn't stop. We tried the heavy revolver, the assault rifle, the assault cannon, even that Ma-Deuce, nothing... I figured we just needed a bigger bullet. Luckily, a dumptruck full of gravel doesn't get much bigger if you consider it a bullet."