I think you'll have to have your party acknowledge your command through roleplay, but I also don't think it needs to be a big deal. You're good at commanding people - hence the leadership, so you ask them if you can direct them, tactically, in combat. It needn't be more than that - the skill even mentions that "temporary" leadership works. And it doesn't need to be more then pure in-combat command; I don't think they need to recognise you as the party leader in other areas.
(Of course, while the above means you're 'officially' the one who decides what happens in combat, don't actually decide, out-of-character, what happens in combat. That should always remain with the players of the characters).
As for what's needed, you need some tactical information on what's happening, but I don't see why VR couldn't work for that. People do it through radio's now. Maybe a penalty for not doing it in person? Say, 0 for in-person, -1 for VR with camera's, -3 for audio-only?
Of course, all of the above is subject to GM interpretation.