[Wolfboy]

wasn't mine, wasn't shadowrun

"Whats the worst that could happen?" as the dwarf cleric kicks the door open.
(Several crossbow bolts and a fireball trap goes off)
"Thats what" Dwarf collapses

Moral: Always let those who can search for traps!

[Welshman]

Moral: Always let those who can search for traps!

Absolutely!

Fighter "Hmm, might be a trap," he says as he looks at the door twenty feet away.

Thief "Yeah well there could be a trap. With this tunnel it could be almost anything, heck the ceiling could fall in when you just touch the door."

Fighter proceeds to pick up the thief and throw him at the door.

[Inverse]

For once, I'm GMing, and I'm using my mage as the Johnson. One of the PC decides he wants to start hitting on said mage. Said mage has a hair trigger temper, and is starting to get annoyed. I tell him to roll a perception test on how well he notices her increasing level of rage. All ones. 

"So, you wanna see my magic wand?"

the resulting inferno was hilarious.

[Chaotic Insane]

^ that, that sounds like the kind of innuendo that goes on at our table. XD

[Usda Beph]

^ that, that sounds like the kind of innuendo that goes on at our table. XD

I have no idea what you're talking about?

“Here, your friend wants to give you some head.” Usda roared as the severed head bounced of the ganger's chest.

[Jeeves]

"Everyone get behind me!" troll with 20 armor, tanked 40 (combined) damage, killed by a street thug with a taser.

"Cut the blue wire!" man strapped to a bomb, speaking to nervous, color-blind dwarf.

"Not so tough now, are ya?" ork adept, after finding the dead body of his bitter rival. Shortly cut down by gaurdian spirits.

"No hard feelings?" elf face when dealing with enraged ork sammie

"I'm gonna punt the harumen!" player shortly before being murdered senseless by a small harumen

"I demand you bring me that which man was not meant to have!" shaman commanding spirit, who brings him bacon, not the artifact he needed to defend himself from a small paramilitary group.

"My advice, shoot first, shoot last, shoot most, reload and shoot again and THEN you THINK about asking questions." gunslinger before being mauled by an animal that only got mad when he shot it,

[Angelone]

"I've finished translating the tablet and all it says over and over again is 'Hastur, Hastur, Hastur'"

[Usda Beph]

"I've finished translating the tablet and all it says over and over again is 'Hastur, Hastur, Hastur'"

Oh Crap Ina Hat!

[voydangel]

In a group of 2 elves, a human, a troll and an ork. The elves (a face and a high chr mage) convince the rest of the party to do....a bad plan.

"It's an elven plan. It can't fail."

Next session was spent making new characters. The quote has since become a catch phrase in my groups.

[freddieflatline]

Star Wars RPG (WEG)

Mon Calamari to the rest of the smuggler group he was with in the bar as they face a platoon of Storm Troopers.  "My look at all the pretty white armor!"

[Nomad Zophiel]

We used to have a saying in Vampire LARPS:

If you're going to take someone out, his last words should be "huh, what the. . ."

Same thing for Runners, really.

Another one:

Other PC: Don't go to the meet, its a trap!
Soon to be dead PC: I know its a trap. I've made it out of all the other ones, haven't I?

Or how about one that happened twice with the same player:
GM: OK, when [lots of obvious Bad Thing effects] start happening, who is not running away?
Soon the be dead PC: *raises hand*

The first time the Bad Thing effects included a 60' serpent breaking out of the ground in a minor earthquake while everything collapsed around the charaters.
The second was in a Vampire/Werewolf LARP where the Big Bad (Nexus Crawler) opened the fight by bringing out the sun and turning the floor into silver blades.

[larskrygan]

first game of shadowrun(  second edition  at the time ), the group was composed of: one elf shaman bandit, one troll thug, and one human adept.

the troll  glitches on his roll to find an armorer, being illiterate, he enters the premises and ask the kind lady at the desk " where can i buy gun and ammo ? " the lady freaks out and get out of the room, noticing something strange about the place , our dear troll looks at the posters hanging on the walls and with difficulty managed to read : jo...in de ... human..is poly... ho shit !!!! he runned like hell 

[FastJack]

Not sure if it counts, Lars, since the troll got away.

[Ed]

How about:

'Man, Ghostwalker is pissed.  Let's sneak back to Seattle thru Sioux territory."

[Jeeves]

My favorite of all time:

Player calls out into a dark room: "Marco!"

this has happened several times, but the person who yells marco is never the one who dies. Friend of mine yelled Marco, i got hit in the face by a ganger with a baseball bat. "POLO!"

second time it happened, another player got attacked and torn to shreds by a succubus.