Elysium…so breathtakingly…awful…that I am embarrassed for the director and sadly writer Neill Blomkamp, who’s District 9 was such a thought provoking masterpiece.
What went wrong?
Cinematography, the hero of the movie is shot handheld while the villains are treated to smooth sweeping camera movements. This left me wanting to see more of the villains than the tortuous shots of our reluctant hero. At one point Trent Opaloch (the offending Cinematographer) actually thought it would be a good idea to combine handheld shots with strobe lights. By the end of the movie I had a headache as a result of this poor treatment, my wife was actually suffering from motion sickness. To say that I am disheartened to learn that Trent Opaloch is shooting Captain America: The Winter Soldier…would be something of an understatement.
SPOILER ALERTS
A story, so weak that it reportedly died of a coronary whilst trying to fight its way free of a soggy paper bag. The big take away in terms of our villains motivation well it is a theme and variation of, “Republicans want you to die quickly” (Rep Alan Grayson). The villains have these medical shuttles with medical beds that cure all your ills that they simply refuse to send down to earth. Does operating these medical beds consume vast quantities of resources? Not that we are led to believe or even implied. What is implied that these mega rich don’t want to share because they are evil.
Dialog, the best and most memorable line of the movie is the one in the trailer about what is in the bag “mostly hair care products” from our bald but reluctant hero.
Character development, sadly that was lacking as well, even more tragic given the acting talent that was present in this movie. I can only assume that Jodie Foster’s character refused medical assistance as she wanted off screen as quickly as possible from this unmitigated turd of a movie. Max, our reluctant hero, wisely chose to die at the end rather than suffer through a sequel.
As I walked out of the theater, I had this unshakable sense that I had just been mugged by the Neill Blomkamp for $8 and a 109 minutes that I will not be getting back anytime soon.