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Hazard Pay errata discussion

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Nath

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« on: <05-22-12/1946:14> »
page 10 "swaths of natural habitats that had been left unscathed by the Resource Rush in the later part of the twentieth century."
The Resource Rush begins on January 21st, 2002, according to Sixth World Almanac, pages 11 and 17. Shadows of North America, page 10, also mentions 2002. Shadowrun 3rd Edition, page 22, says "barely a year after the Shiwase Decision."

page 12 "Aqua Arcana was established in 2042 by three magicians: Isabel Madira, a Porpoise shaman; Michael Paul, an Orca shaman; and Alexander Greyson, a mystic adept specializing in the study of water in magic."
A comment in California Free State, pages 124-125, has then-company head Jebediah Jones as the founder. At least require a twist to explain the mistake.

page 20 "I am not here to comment about the disappearance of one of the Shasta Shamans’ technomancers, Randall Dancing-Star, and how it could relate to Lofwyr. I am not here to comment about the disappearance of one of the Shasta Shaman’s technomancers, Randall Dancing-Star, and how it could relate to Lofwyr."
The sentence is repeated twice.

page 25 "YYou would be hard-pressed to find any of these groups setting up shop in luxurious locations such as Hawai’i."
Remove one.

page 49 "In this enclosed community, Protegus AG works hard to ensure your privacy needs are met."
The corporation is Proteus AG.

page 49 "The distance of the drive may be as short asmthirty kilometers, though often it is approximately one hundred kilometers."
Thirty is more like a number.

page 50 "SINless and squatter populations have all declined significantly in fiset ajar sprawls in the Scandinavian Union over the last five years."
Remove cat from keyboard.

page 63 "[The Black Betty] captain targeted a dozen Shiawase vessels in 2072. [...] The Black Betty was especially active during Yasuhito-dono’s ascension to the throne."
Yasuhito became Emperor of Japan in 2062 and would get full powers when turning 18 in 2066 according to Year of the Comet, page 101-104, Shadows of Asia, page 77-78, and Corporate Enclaves, page 58. Besides, I'm not sure "Dono" is the right way to address the grandson of the Emperor.

page 106 in MCT Facility Frozen Tundra Plot Hooks
"Mr. Johnson asks the runners to find their way to storage room 502 in Renraku’s facility"
Asking for breaking in the aforementioned MCT facility that plot hook ought to be about would make more sense.

page 115 "there was only so much more work she could pretend to do before someone became suspicions"
They should become suspicious. No need to embody the feeling.

page 120 "The United States also became the first to operate a reusable spacecraft in 1980 when the Space Shuttle Columbia lifted from Cape Canaveral."
IRL, Columbia first flew on April 12th, 1981. It may be different in SR timeline though.

page 120 "Saeder-Krupp bought the ESA in 2029."
"Saeder-Krupp got a deal similar to Ares’ NASA purchase when the ESA was privatized in 2025."
As far as I remember, 2025 is the correct date, but I can't find a proper reference at the time.

page 121 "Into the late 2050s, Daedalus was the only operational station outside of Earth orbit."
Daedalus is on Lagrangian Point L4, which is in Earth orbit,  though way beyond GEO, around 384,000 kilometers away from the Earth. That's the same orbit than the Moon actually, by the very definition of L4.

page 130 "Especially sense Rolenko and Evo CEO Anatoly Kirilenko have been friends since cosmonaut training."
Unless it suggests using some psychic sense to assess Rolenko and Kirilenko relationship, "since" would make more sense in this context.

page 132 "When Yamaetsu became Evo after Crash 2.0, it acquired a space program in a roundabout way."
The corporation is Yamatetsu. And it already had some sort of space program involving Russians prior to the 2064 Crash 2.0, according to Year of the Comet, page 18, Target: Wastelands, page 77 and 84, State of the Art: 2063, page 119-121, and State of the Art: 2064, page 161

page 132 "Since then, Roskosmos has served all of Evo’s space needs. It primary facility, the Cosmodome, is a massive structure that is equal parts launch facility, training ground, and space  technology center."
It looks like there's a confusion here with "cosmodrome", which is the word Soviet/Russian use for all their launching facility.

page 132 "The first is they are owned and operated by Proteus AG, the only non-AAA-rated corporation with a permanent facility in space."
page 134 "A newcomer to space, Dyson 3 was launched by the Starfield Botanical Engineering"
page 139 "Commonly known as the “Station House” by spacers, this facility is currently owned by the New York-based aerospace corporation Trans-Orbital. The Station House is unusual among orbital stations in that it is not owned by a AAA- or AA-rated corporation."
Self-contradicting.

page 132 "Two facilities formerly known as Andrews Air Base and Groom Lake were purchased by Horizon subsidiary Transglobal three years ago after the Cal-Free government decided to abandon them."
The place known as Groom Lake (that's Area 51) is in Nevada, about 100 kilometers from the state border with California, and thus the border between the California Free State and the Ute Nation.
The Andrews Air Force Base is in Maryland. The only place known as Andrews in California seems to be a former ghost town, now within the limit of Fresno urban area.

page 134 "However, the Draco Foundation declared that Dyson 3 failed because the station is not technically in low-Earth orbit"
Orbit is a function of altitude and speed. If you're below the required speed at your current altitude, you start falling. Engineers consider there's a lower bound to Low-Earth Orbit only because it's considered practically impossible to maintain orbital speed because of atmospheric friction. So maintaining a large dodecahedron containing 1.25 acres of land either orbiting or flying long enough to grow wheat should be first and foremost considered as an impressive aerospace engineering feat. How good is the prize when their tech should allow them to rule over the entire space industry?

page 134 "Fuchi-Space"
pages 139 and 140 "FuchiSpace"
Settle for one spelling. Besides, Fuchi/Novatech/NeoNET space division was called "Fuchi Orbital" in Corporate Shadowfiles color pages, Corporate Download, pages 66 and 70, Target: Wastelands, pages 75 and 84, and Corporate Guide, page 122.

page 135 "Himmelsschimede resembles an archology in space"
page 140 "Artemis Lunar Archology"
"arcology" have been the standard spelling so far (except in War!).

page 136 "Shibanojuki Freefall Resort" (several occurences)
Yamatetsu founder and son and space station is "Shibanokuji," according to every sources (that mistake, I make a lot)

Page 138 "Because of the distance from Earth there is a significant lag in communication, even with retransmission units. This delay saved the stations during Crash 2.0, giving them time to enact emergency procedures before the virus reached them."
Lag on a GEO satcom is about one second, while LEO satcom has virtually none. And retransmission units can do nothing to shorten that delay, the speed of light is to blame. Bandwith on the other hand, is significantly slower (and thus people are more careful about the amount of data they send).

page 142 "In 2065, cosmonauts from Roskosmos became the first metahumans on the Martian surface."
Cosmonauts landed on Mars in September 2063 as part of a joint project between Yamatetsu, Russia and the PPG according to State of the Art: 2064, page 161.

page 152
Gobi doesn't appear in the markups.

page 154 "Arabian" (title)
Arabian is an adjective and doesn't sound correct for a section title. "Arabia" or "Arabian Desert" would seem more appropriate.

page 154 "These hobgoblins aren’t doing anything to advance Infected rights in the Caliphate"
They don't have to, since hobgoblins are an ork metavariant, not HMHVV-infected people as context here suggests. Goblins are infected, albeit in a very confusing way since they are HMHVV-1-infected dwarves, while goblinized people are orks and trolls.
« Last Edit: <05-28-12/1747:20> by Nath »

Sengir

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« Reply #1 on: <05-29-12/1924:35> »
page 135 "Himmelsschimede resembles an archology in space"
page 140 "Artemis Lunar Archology"
"arcology" have been the standard spelling so far (except in War!).
"Himmelsschmiede" also has been misspelled.

Page 81, none of the weapons have the Extreme Environment mod, whereas in the compiled list at the end of the book most of them have it

chinlamp

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« Reply #2 on: <05-30-12/0337:41> »
Seriously, how does all of this get past quality control?  When you have fans in your official forums pointing out large amounts of errors (be they grammar, spelling, rules or continuity) with your releases more often than not, you need to fire your editing department and start again.

From the Desert section:

p. 145, Shadowtalk by Hard Exit: sustaining a spell is a -2 penalty, regardless of the force of the spell.  On top of that, sustaining a spell would not force the mage to near unconciousness.  If she had said that she must have been a decently powerful initiate to make a barrier spell that large, that would have made sense, but sustaining it for a long period of time would not disable the mage in such a way.

p. 146, Shadowtalk by 2XL: "none of whom are all that interested wandering out there simply to stop a jeep full of black market telesma".  There should be an 'in' between 'interested' and 'wandering'.

p. 146, first paragraph of The Mojave: started a sentence with 'And'

p. 146, second paragraph of The Mojave: "What this means is that it’s still quite possible to roam around the Mojave without encountering another living thong besides snakes and scorpions."  I'm assuming that's supposed to be 'thing'.

p. 146, First sentence of Critters: "Unlike humans, most critters are not given to revenge of long-term, malevolent plans."  That should be 'or'

p. 146, First sentence of the third paragraph of Critters: "This has led the critters to act as if they are constantly under a threat."  Remove the 'a'.

p. 146, Second sentence of the third paragraph of Critters: "Many of them, like nova scorpions, have taken to attacking any living thing that crosses their path, whether it be predator, prey, or some creature in which, in normal circumstances, they have no interest."  While not technically incorrect (as far as I'm aware, but what do I know, I went through public schooling), 'under normal circumstances' is more commonly accepted, and there should probably be a 'would' between 'they' and 'have no interest'.

p. 148, Shadowtalk by Elijah: "Baelosh was involved with the spirit known as Kaze it casting the ritual that summoned the red rain in Vegas and the Blood Flood in Salt Lake City. He’s a bit depleted now."  Word should be 'in'

p. 148, Shadowtalk by Frosty: "The whole point of the ritual was to gather mana from near and far concentrate it in a couple of select cities." should be 'near and far and concentrate' or 'near and far to concentrate'.

p. 148, Second column, first paragraph after the shadowtalk: "Most say he is human, though a few claim he is a dwarf—at very least, he’s short."  Should be 'at the very least'

p. 148, the very next sentence: "He wears a broad-brimmed had, a fringed buckskin jacket, and long canvas pants, no matter the weather."  Should be 'hat'.

p. 148, Second column, second paragraph after the shadowtalk: "In some of these accounts, he is said to grow to two, three, even four times his regular height, looming over those he encounters and glowing with some internal red glow."  You've already said he's glowing, using glow again is not good sentence structure.  Use 'light' as the last word of the sentence.

p. 149, Shadowtalk by Stone: "Just go to the sprawl in question and take out a transformer or something rather than monkey around with the solar fields."  The correct phrase is 'monkeying around'.

p. 149, Shadowtalk by Stone: "No, if you’re going to go out here, you’re target should be the PCC."  Your.  God, I can't believe I have to do this for a published book, that's the sort of correction trolls do on Facebook.

p. 154, First paragraph: "The hobgoblins enjoy the violence they’re engaging in, don’t get me wrong, but they also enjoy striking fear and anger into the hearts of the nation’s citzens, and they can’t do that if no one knows what they’re up to."  Should be 'citizens'.

p. 154, As said by Nath, Hobgoblins aren't Infected, Goblins are.  I would also like to point out that the fact that Hannibelle is making this statement makes it even more impossible to simply be a misunderstanding of this (despite there being a hobgoblin on JackPoint, I could see some of the runners there occasionally forgetting which is which), as she is a ghoul.

p. 155, Second non-shadowtalk paragraph: "This is a reasonable assumption, and very well may be the case, but there other possible explanations."  Should be 'there are other possible explanations.'

p. 155, First paragraph of 'Surviving the Desert': "You better believe it, and forgetting this part of the equation has gotten a whole lot travelers in trouble."  Should be 'has gotten a whole lot of travelers in trouble.'

p. 156, Second paragraph of 'Advances in Magic': "Mages in Desert Wars have known the advantage of using grand troops to hold a position and hem in mobile troops, and those ground troops are especially effective when they’re tough to find."  Should be 'ground'.

I'd also just like to quickly point out some problems I had with the Desert chapter alone.  There's no mention of the exact events of the red rain or the 'Blood Flood', are they detailed somewhere else?  There's no stats for the 'Mongolian Death Worm', which is now obviously what is detailed on the cover of the book (despite looking larger).  Why was something you felt important enough to be on the cover never given any detail?  Another point from the Gobi Desert section is the 'Yadan Rock Formations'.  How would Team Hercules know that Blue Team would want to avoid this place?  Why wasn't this gone into more detail?  The picture above that section seems to suggests that the rock formations are the home of a lot of free Earth elementals or the last of the obsidimen, but could just as easily show an ork mage summoning large amounts of elementals at once.  What context is that picture there in?  The 'disappearing city' and the empty town of Ihda are never explored in depth, I suppose you could be building up to something for their use in the future, but as it stands, it provides an extremely vague description of a barely there plot hook that could just as easily been cut as it could have been explored.