[Longshot23]

You could ask the player if she thinks she could do better GMing, but that might backfire.

How experienced a gamer is she? Is it possible she played in a past game that encouraged her current behaviour?

[Loki]

And now, 'cause I'm all devil's advocatey today I feel the need to point out we lack the data to determine whether or not said player had a point in the perception matters, no matter how poorly delivered. In the case of the RFID tag, What color was the tag and the desk? Just where on said desk was it placed? In an open area with no other items near it or next to/behind something larger or more colorful, thus more like to draw the eye from the tag. In the case of the ambush... well I'm sure y'all get the drift. My point being perhaps she's trying to help with legitimate suspension of disbelief issues but has poor communication skills.

[Sichr]

Id love to see OP's reflection on what we said so far.

[All4BigGuns]

And now, 'cause I'm all devil's advocatey today I feel the need to point out we lack the data to determine whether or not said player had a point in the perception matters, no matter how poorly delivered. In the case of the RFID tag, What color was the tag and the desk? Just where on said desk was it placed? In an open area with no other items near it or next to/behind something larger or more colorful, thus more like to draw the eye from the tag. In the case of the ambush... well I'm sure y'all get the drift. My point being perhaps she's trying to help with legitimate suspension of disbelief issues but has poor communication skills.

Pretty much. That's the problem with these "problem player" threads. We only ever get one side of the story, and no one in modern society wants to admit that maybe they have the problem. Instead everything is always the other person's fault. Without the other side of the story, we simply can not truly give real and useful advice on the situation.

[PeterSmith]

...and no one in modern society wants to admit that maybe they have the problem.

Pfft. I'm an asshole at times, I know it, and I'll cop to it. More often in real life than online, though, which is somewhat of a reverse than what people would expect.

[Sichr]

...and no one in modern society wants to admit that maybe they have the problem.

Pfft. I'm an asshole at times, I know it, and I'll cop to it. More often in real life than online, though, which is somewhat of a reverse than what people would expect.

When looking into the mirror, I also dontz lame the mirror for making me look like I do...

[mtfeeney = Baron]

Is the first post biased?  Probably, it's difficult to write something that isn't biased.  Does that mean he's lying?  No, of course not.  Is the girl obviously wrong always?  Nope.  If the entire group says she is wrong, does that mean she's wrong?  Probably, but not always.  Does she make ridiculous claims like "PTSD doesn't exist."?  Yes.  Is she wrong?  Yes.  If she's saying something as offensively incorrect as this, is it likely that the other things described are accurate representations of her game-stopping stances?  Yes, it's likely.  Is this all conjecture?  Yep.

[RHat]

More imprtantly, the implication that the group as a whole is trying to get her to stop this is evidence that she is in the wrong for the simple fact that it indicates that she is trying to impose her notion of how things should be upon everyone else, even though the rest of the group disagrees with her stances.  That puts her in the wrong on a group dynamics level.

[All4BigGuns]

More imprtantly, the implication that the group as a whole is trying to get her to stop this is evidence that she is in the wrong for the simple fact that it indicates that she is trying to impose her notion of how things should be upon everyone else, even though the rest of the group disagrees with her stances.  That puts her in the wrong on a group dynamics level.

Assuming that there isn't any provocation on their part, which there could very well be whether it's unnoticed or simply left out to make her look like the "bad guy". The point is we don't know because she isn't here to defend herself.

[RHat]

Provocation seems irrelevant to this particular case - it would not make the player in question any less in the wrong.  Might mean everyone's in the wrong, but that really doesn't change the advice.

[All4BigGuns]

Provocation seems irrelevant to this particular case - it would not make the player in question any less in the wrong.  Might mean everyone's in the wrong, but that really doesn't change the advice.

The "dump her" statements shouldn't have been made though, especially since she's not here to defend herself.

[RHat]

Provocation seems irrelevant to this particular case - it would not make the player in question any less in the wrong.  Might mean everyone's in the wrong, but that really doesn't change the advice.

The "dump her" statements shouldn't have been made though, especially since she's not here to defend herself.

That's categorically bad advice regardless.  That is the least likely course of action to deliver a properly positive outcome.

[mtfeeney = Baron]

I totally forgot a more recent situation like this.  When I first moved to China, I found a group of teachers that wanted to play D&D.  There was one player that clearly saw himself as the alpha dog.  He was loud, abrupt, and gave no thought to anyone else.  Our DM didn't have the balls to have a man-to-man with the player, and the group died.  The other players preferred to just stop playing instead of being there with him.  You can't ignore something like this, and you definitely don't want to ruin a friendship.  If you don't talk to her about it, the feelings you get during the game might start bleeding into your friendship.  I still go out and get drinks with the guy.  He's a good person and fun, there's just no reining in his impulses(which never matched the group's inclinations).  I would have regretted dropping contact with him just because of a game.

[Mirikon]

If they're actually a friend, then a phonebooking or giving them a 'time out' from the group until they fix their behavior won't affect the friendship, reduces your stress, and increases group fun overall. If they're not actually a friend, but an acquaintance, then phonebooking or giving them a 'time out' from the group still reduces your stress and increases group fun overall. Either way, its a win. 'Friends' doesn't mean 'we always get along like fragging Care Bears'. 'Friends' sometimes means taking a phonebook upside their head and telling them to cut the crap.

[Elektrycerze3]

Thanks for all the valuable input!

Here are the results:

We talked in a friendly manner, two times actually: on Thursday and on Sunday.

We (the rest of the group and I) didn't confront her and tried being gentle. She didn't recognize being disruptive, but we talked her into not voicing her objections until after any given game session. Not the best result, but at least it's a playable consensus.

That being said, we tried to find out if she was uncomfortable or something - after all, she wasn't like that all the way, only the last couple of months. And thanks to everyone, who suggested digging deeper! Although she didn't say it outright, our group is dead sure she isn't comfortable with the rules and her character and that just might be the reason she argues that much. The thing is, her English is much worse than she thinks and she fails to understand some rules. For whatever reason she doesn't acknowledge it and we don't want to hurt her feelings (one other group member doesn't speak English at all, but it is well known and we always help). I guess we'll have to help her without her knowing that. We agreed to spell out every dice pool we form, to reference rules often etc.

She was less disruptive this Sunday, but there are problems still. And to be fair, the phonebook advice proved to be as effective as the negotiation advice: I tried phonebooking her a couple of times and it worked just fine, everyone was happy in the end.

For all the devil's advocates: thanks too You've made me put on my self-reflecting cap. But All4BigGuns,

We only ever get one side of the story, and no one in modern society wants to admit that maybe they have the problem. Instead everything is always the other person's fault. Without the other side of the story, we simply can not truly give real and useful advice on the situation.

My aim was not to fix the blame or to prove something. I sought advice on preserving my gaming group and many omae here helped me with their advice, including you.

[spoiler]

What color was the tag and the desk? Just where on said desk was it placed? In an open area with no other items near it or next to/behind something larger or more colorful, thus more like to draw the eye from the tag. In the case of the ambush... well I'm sure y'all get the drift. My point being perhaps she's trying to help with legitimate suspension of disbelief issues but has poor communication skills.

Well, if you really want to know, the tag was black and it was placed in a plant pot with a cactus on the desk. Not the stealthiest way to go, sure, but she really made a scene of it.[/spoiler]