Yeah, I always treated the Thunderstruck as a 'must set up first', not something you can fire from the hip (or the shoulder when standing, as the case may be). It really must be unbalanced...
That said, I would advise the following:
- Lower the Charisma to 3-4, using the points to boost either Intuition, Willpower, Reaction, or Body (in that order). You have no social skills in either iteration; while picking up at least 1 point of Etiquette is wise, having a 6 Charisma and defaulting to stuff is a good way to get killed without understanding why.
- Beaumis's version has a lot of maxed skills; knock everything but Longarms down a peg or two, and get some other useful skills. Basic etiquette; training in automatics (which you would have gotten as a default from all of your chosen organizations).
- Background change 1: Move HTR to SWAT - HTR is more 'running firefight with shadowrunners and heavily-armed gangers' and less of the sort of semi-static situation in which a sniper can be useful. SWAT still exists for less time-critical or movement-required situations, though.
- Background change 2: Possibly rethink your 'contracted russian mafia hitman'. The Vory, like other ethnic (or mostly-ethnic) mobs, will almost never allow an outsider access or membership; unless Intervention is of Russian/Ukranian/etc. extraction, grew up around them, that sort of thing, the best she'll get from the Vory is an occasional 'lesser threat' hit - because for the important things, they go to the ex-KGB hitters in Chimera. (Expensive, but worth every one of those half-a-million nuyen.) You might instead simply make her a hitter-for-hire, specializing in 'detail work' - one-shot no-collateral long-distance eliminations.
I do like the idea, it's just that the details need refining.
