[CanRay]

She is one of the key pieces of the puzzle!  And physical proof that I'm right!  If you want to help me feed her, the stick is over there.

She bites.  Hard.

[RelentlessImp]

Still doesn't explain the whips and chains under the notes right above her head...

[CanRay]

Still doesn't explain the whips and chains under the notes right above her head...

Typical Torture techniques don't work, so I use alternative techniques.  I REMOVE torture from the equation after they've become accustomed to it!

[Mirikon]

But why does she have "Save the cheerleader, save the world," tattooed on her chest?

[RelentlessImp]

But why does she have "Save the cheerleader, save the world," tattooed on her chest?

Because the old vidshow "Heroes" plays majorly in the conspiracy! I've seen the light! I understand now. CanRay has it all figured out.

[CanRay]

But why does she have "Save the cheerleader, save the world," tattooed on her chest?

She came that way.  It's part of the code that unlocks the secondary personality in her head...  Bah!  It's all written up there on the walls, people!  THE WALLS!

Let me guess, you're all Iconoliterate only, huh?

[Mirikon]

Um, CanRay, all you put on the walls are copies of old Archie comic strips...

[RelentlessImp]

Um, CanRay, all you put on the walls are copies of old Archie comic strips...

Don't you see yet?! All things in this heaven and earth were predicted years ago. Secret messages encoded into the text - even the marriage scene is a warning! Taken together and using the correct cipher, these fifteen pages translate to:

[REDACTED] chummer, drek the [REDACTED] [REDACTED].

...Huh. Damn filters...

[CanRay]

Um, CanRay, all you put on the walls are copies of old Archie comic strips...

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!  They got to my files!  The bastards...  Years of work...  Years...

Ha...  HA HA...  HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!  Back-ups!  I have BACK-UPS!!!  They will never have been able to get at those!!!

[RelentlessImp]

Um, CanRay, all you put on the walls are copies of old Archie comic strips...

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!  They got to my files!  The bastards...  Years of work...  Years...

Ha...  HA HA...  HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!  Back-ups!  I have BACK-UPS!!!  They will never have been able to get at those!!!

Oh, so I'm just psychotic. Well, that makes me feel better. At least it means I'm not a conspiracy theorist.

[Mirikon]

Um, CanRay, all you put on the walls are copies of old Archie comic strips...

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!  They got to my files!  The bastards...  Years of work...  Years...

Ha...  HA HA...  HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!  Back-ups!  I have BACK-UPS!!!  They will never have been able to get at those!!!

CanRay, those aren't backups. Those are two hundred CDs of "Baby Got Back".

[CanRay]

Um, CanRay, all you put on the walls are copies of old Archie comic strips...

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!  They got to my files!  The bastards...  Years of work...  Years...

Ha...  HA HA...  HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!  Back-ups!  I have BACK-UPS!!!  They will never have been able to get at those!!!

CanRay, those aren't backups. Those are two hundred CDs of "Baby Got Back".

That's just the labels I put on...

...

...

My back-ups.