Dude,
You really need to read the rulebook again.
"Any action that uses. [attack] or [sleaze] is considered an illegal action. Thus is going to get hit by the reflection."
Wrong.
Page 231:
If you fail an Attack action, your target’s security software
rejects your code, corrupting it and sending it back
where it came from. If it was normal data, then your system
could check it for errors, but in this case it’s some pretty
vicious stuff designed to avoid Firewalls. For every net hit
the target got on its defense test, you take 1 box of Matrix
damage, which you can’t resist.
If you fail a Sleaze action, the target’s Firewall software
detects the intrusion and places a mark on you. A
device immediately informs its owner, a host launches
IC. If the target already has three marks on you, it doesn’t
get another, but it still does the informing and launching.
So if someone is using a Sleaze action doesn't get hit when they fail, they get a mark on them. Also, on page page 240 it says:
Full Matrix Defense
This allows you to defend against Attack actions, and
may be taken at any time.
That means if someone takes a Sleaze or Data Processing action against you, you cannot perform Full Matrix Defense against them.
" So if chose to the defender could spend edge to destroy who he is fighting. Even If the attacker spends edge he is limited to his attack or sleaze value."
Wrong again.
Page 56
Push the Limit: Add your Edge rating to your
test, either before or after the roll. This can allow
you to take tests that might otherwise have
a dice pool of zero or less thanks to various
modifiers in play. Using Edge in this way makes
the Rule of Six come into play: for every 6 you
roll, count it as a hit and then re-roll that die,
adding any additional hits from the re-roll to
your total. If you decide to use this function after
your initial roll, only your Edge dice use the
Rule of Six. This use of Edge also allows you to
ignore any limit on your test.
Now, just look at the actual difference between characters:
Your decker:
Intuition 5
Firewall 6
Willpower 6
Hot Sim 2
Total 19 dice
The attacking decker
Cybercombat 6
Logic 6
Specialization 2
Hot Sim 2
Total 16 dice
That is assuming he doesn't have a cerebral booster to boost his logic.
Now that does give you a slight statistical edge - HOWEVER, now look at what happens when he makes those checks.
If you beat him by 1, he takes 1 damage. If you beat him by 2, he takes 2 damage.
Lets say he has one mark on you (remember, your Full Defense does NOTHING to help you against this action.).
If he beats you by 1, you have to resist 10 boxes of damage. If he beats you by 2, you have to resist 11.
Lets say you have Firewall 6, and are using a Renraku Tsurugi (Device Rating 3). That means with your 9 dice, when he does hit you, you are taking (on average) around 6-8 boxes of damage from that hit.
So yes, with 19 dice you will roll more successes than with 16 dice, but not SIX to EIGHT TIMES as many. Which means while you may nickel and dime him for one or two points of damage once or twice, he is then going to HAMMER you for 6-8. And if you are just standing there, not attacking, but going on Full Defense, the first thing he would do would be to Hack on the Fly and put the full 3 marks on you - meaning if he gets just 1 more hit than you do, that is a base 14 boxes of damage, and you can only take 10 (with that deck) before being dumped. Not to mention if he is running something like Hammer, which increases that to 16 boxes of damage.
You rolling 3 more dice than the attacker when your dicepools are that high does not mean invulnerability, it means you have a slight edge - but as I've demonstrated, he can afford to lose a couple of times, you can't.