[gilga]

Yael smiled "Look bnc, I know that you are into the wonderful Banana dust. There are many things that I like but am I addicted to them.  mascara ? makeup? lingerie? sexy dresses?  You can say that I am because I spent over a year saving on my rising huntress dress.  The most wonderful one I ever had, from being invisible to looking almost like anything I wish. So good things are addictive and if something happens to my dress I will be grieving it for a while because of the way it makes me feel.

I imagine that the addiction in these spells is of the same kind.  They make you feel better about yourself so you want to keep using them. I mean, why wouldn't you?  I finance my magical education with these spells. From salesmen before an important pitch, to students doing research for their thesis and even some nervous or shy people before a date.  The danger is with lazy people that neglect their actual skills and just seek shortcuts.

I mean... you tried my spells already. So do you miss them already? Does their recreational worth compete with chemistry?  I would not know myself as I wear them like clothes according to my mood. Sometimes I go without them, and sometimes it feels better to share... Like that other night."

[Volker]

"How come you know bananadust? I was safe it's only known in Austria.

But yeah, this is exactly what I'm talking of... Once you start doing it, going without would feel, dunno, dull. It was a great feeling ... let's be frank, it was awesome. And it's something I could lose myself into. Getting addicted? I dunno. Am I addicted to hot sim? To bananadust? To caffeine? To Whoom? To Golden Mirror? Damn, I'd kill for another dose of deepweed in a nice environment. Hell, what do I care about getting addicted to a bit more. After all, it's point as you say: Addiction just means, it's so awesome you don't wanna go without if you can. I'd ex my family to be able to do would you can."

[gilga]

She then  said "Exactly,  we should explore and enjoy every pleasure this world has to offer. I mean, most people are just dead inside afraid to take a risk."

Anna smiled and said "Did you really ask me about Bananadust?... That other night when you were flirting with the idea of bisexuality... you suggested we tried it together and I could tell that you know how to party.  So I can only imagine how incredible it is." 

[Volker]

"Did I now? Ough... I can't even remember, my gosh.

Do you do drugs?"

[gilga]

Anna said "You make it sound so negative, I indulge in parties and in weekends mainly. I must admit that I do less since I became proficient with my mojo. Cheaper and less logistics... "

[Volker]

"Most people make it sound negative. With reason. Banana, e.g., makes your face swell up. Whoom destroys your body's chemical balance. You get turkeys from H. Angelsticks make their users go maniac. Not to talk about beetles...

[gilga]

Anna laughed and said  "Most people are mindless drones that never take risks and only care about their cooperate jobs. They are too worked up to ever truly desire something... to stressed up to freely enjoy themselves. They dream on a promotion and 10% raise to their crappy wage...
  They may stick around for long, and pay me handsomely to enhance them, but do they really live? 

Though, I hear you about terrible side effect... as you can see I make my best to take care of my health. I feel that anything is good for you, as long as you know to quit while you are ahead. Just like gambling...
Simple to say, difficult to do.  Do you gamble by the way?"

[Volker]

"What is it then you truly desire?"
What can a person like you have left to desire?

bnc shakes her head shortly, but firmly. "No, I don't gamble. I only play if I win. Ever. I don't gamble with people, I don't gamble with whatever messes around in my body, I don't gamble around with any friggin' else. Gambling is something for the weak of mind - those who are not able to control lose themselves in the illusion that it is supposed to be fun."

[gilga]

Anna looked distant for a short while thinking, she then spoke and her eyes grew bright with excitement as touched her desires.

What do I truly desire?
Well Yesterday it was you...  but seriously, it changes over time...

When I was young I dreamed of being a princess, that after all the prejudice and abuse and mocking I will get to use my talent and laugh back at all these assholes that made my early years miserable.  Then I grew a bit older and I actually managed to enroll in a university and I wanted this shitty cooperate job like the rest of them. I mean, all the other students were obsessed with this wage mage career.

Then I figured out that it can never happen for me, not in a million years. No cooperate life for me – so I started being more interested in partying and in music. I even became a reasonable performer.  I truly enjoy the sensation after a good concert, to know that people truly enjoyed you. These lives are over too – I got bored with them I guess.

So, my current desire is to steal big.  Robbing that bank and walking away with all that money is going to feel better than any orgasm I ever had… I just know it.  It is not the money itself – it is the excitement of taking it. Plenty of people are rich – but how many of them robbed a bank for their wealth? 

About the gambling she comments "Well you are way to smart for these things,  perhaps this is why the illusion does not work on you. Illusions do not have to be real to be fun... I mean, what was the point in being in the trids. Then again, you are are a runner. How much do you risk by gambling? Some easy come easy go money? You risk your life - so these gambles are boring for you.   It is fun for me, and I usually win at holdem - because no matter how you are going to mask your facial expression - the aura is your biggest 'tell'. Observing it enough it is difficult to hide excitement or fear or nervousness. "
 
"So what is your business? do you really hate me and root for me to fail like Flatline thinks?"

[Volker]

bnc was just about to answer, when she heard the last sentence. She's caught completely off guard.
"What da frag? Just now I believed there's more than pure shit coming out of your mouth, and snap! What makes you cerebral ascete think you're important enough to be hated? If this your real you I begin to understand why you need magic to get slotted."

[gilga]

Anna looked at bnc admiring the skinny girl - even at anger. Anna liked conflicts and  liked resolutions, she did not feel like getting philosophical before she understood the nature of their relationship.  Well she already knew that bnc was an emotional minefield. She said "Look bnc, I owe you a lot for getting me out of Whitman so skillfully."
She looked at bnc and then took a breath and said "but it is more than that Bianca! I like you dammit!... My cards are open to you so where is all that anger coming from?"

[Volker]

"I honestly don't get you. First you talk nice and smooth, then you insult me, I insult you back, and you declare your eternal love? What's wrong with your wires? Can you at least try thinking with any other organ than your cunt? If this is some weird lesbo phantasy, you got Indigo's host address. I'm sure they give a discount to lesbo nymphos. Just try and don't draw a line of slime on my bed, please."

[gilga]

"Seriously? I did not see you as the romantic kind... Ethereal love?! Do you have premade wedding invitations... ? I said I like you - so yay to you - you are more fun to be with then the rest. Even when you do your insults... At least I am not bored.  I mean I am a bi-sexual awakened girl that steals.  I heard it all already,  you need to do a lot better to actually insult me, lifetime of assholes... Though usually I need to really fuck someone up before one opens a mouth like yours.

So you don't like me because of the lesbian part? Fair enough I guess it is better than having you see me as the wicked witch of the west. It was reckless and wrong to try and seduce you... I am sorry if I hurt your feelings or confused you or whatever. We had that strange chemistry and I misinterpreted it.  Is being gay such a big deal in Austria?"

[Volker]

"Jeez, no, it's not about being lesbian at all. Austrians have been open to homosexuality long before you Americans understood it's not evil to go to a sauna being nude. You might remember I was about trying it myself. I'm not a homophobe. Give ma a load of 'dust, and I'm into everything.
I guess, you might even be un poco more disgusting if you were a hetero guy. Do you think it makes you attractive when all you do all day long is trying to get nailed by basically everyone and everything? No matter who we meet, no matter what we do, all you think about is getting your cunt stuffed. Pff, call me romantic, but who in his right mind would want to be the hundred-twentieth to wank off in your worn-out vag? I can't even imagine how many drunk, fat chipsies you layed just to get your load. It makes me sick.
But you know what, this is still not why you piss me off. You can squirt into whoever's face you feel like to. I just can't stand people who think they're the center of the world. You take yourself way more important than you are. You're just yet another student in a fucked-up world who was lucky enough to get shit at by the great mojo lottery, is all.

[gilga]

She listened and then answered "Well, I am not just a student who won the lottery. Mojo takes years to master and you have to survive long enough to actually use it. A street rat needs to be wise, not your genius hacker wise - but streetwise. You need to know whom to conn, whom to pickpocket and whom to stay away from. Sometimes you need to know whom to sleep with and it always feels terrible. Seriously, if you learn what I had to do to actually get my ass to university and develop this freaking gift you would not envy me any longer. Though, how would you know how it feels to play your guitar on the streets all day in an attempt to feed your family. To go to sleep hungry and cold and afraid? I bet you never had to sleep with anyone just for a roof over your head and some warm clothes. Life are dangerous and short enough without puritan lectures and graphic insults. I'll enjoy what I can before it is my time. "

Anna moved uncomfortable, noticing she was blushed and close to crying - a freaking dumb student was an insult. It reminded her of how much she missed her life in the streets and how she betrayed everyone to just get that education that her fellow students just needed to be born into the right family. How as supportive as her parents were, they would never be truly okay with her leaving. Even if it was the only logical choice rather than a life of street crime.  She took her guitar leaned back and with closed eyes played a sad tone she remembered from her childhood.

"I am not having any fun now... " she said with near wet eyes.