Shadowrun
Shadowrun General => Fan fiction => Topic started by: Usda Beph on <10-05-10/0714:43>
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The Seattle night was as expected, wet and full of sea salt and acid rain. But Usda was feeling fairly jovial, His team was paid for the work they did liberating the Babelfish or what ever the damn thing was called. The job went well enough and the bullet wounds should fully heal in a couple weeks. Now was that time of night after a run that was almost a ritual. It was a rite of passage in the Seattle burbs. Usda turned into the parking lot behind Dust's van The building was low, only a single story (above ground). The Neon flashed its invitation welcoming one and all to…
"Stuffer Shack"
"So, Code what do you want to spend your yen on?" Usda asked into his link.
"Hey big guy… wrong link. Again."The gruff voice of Nestor, the groups Dwarven Adept, snapped into Usda's ear. "You'd think a vatjob like you'd be able to just think a link to work for you."
The van's side door slid open and a lithe ink black form slinked out of the vehicle. "Aw, do not mind the halfer Usda, He iz just mad beecauze he haz to stare up at your oysters all the time." Coderizon said through his thick Russian accent, with all the enthusiasm of a corpse.
"So ka." Usda rumbled as he clopped towards the store, "You should try working a link with fingers the size of an Elf's wrist Nestor!"
The grizzled Adept raised his right hand, flying a middle finger salute and announced, "I already do."
Shaking his head Usda returned to his original topic, "So what are you going to do with your share Code?"
"I will get gliched and purhuse cheap Slitches Trovarich." said Coderizon his red dyed hair swinging listlessly in the Seattle breeze. He was an elf, of that there was no doubt. His slight frame, pointed ears, flawless beauty and his ageless face were all proof of his heritage. It was the inky black pigment of his skin and milk white eyes that were unusual. Usda wasn't really phased by his appearance, after all he had to look in a mirror everyday. What ruffled his fur was the near total apathy Code emanated.
On the last mission Coderizon broke out with a mono-filament whip and literally slashed a quartet of guards into something resembling a bowl of Nacho Mama's 'Special White Pork Sauce' ™. Then he just walked away like he had swatted a fly, popping his gum as he skulked away. Worse the attack had first lashed out from between Usda's legs. When it came to cold emotionless characters Code was just down right creepy.
“Hey guys wait up.” called Dust. He was a human and he was pretty average. About two meters tall, about ninety kilos, brown hair and a green eye. Yeah, just one the other he has under an eye patch cause its a cybereye and Dust doesn't like dealing with stares. His duster fluttered in the night air and his black fedora nearly flew off as he rushed to catch up to his teammates. Being average is a good quality for a, highly trained former military sniper, like Dust.
So the team went from the dark wet Seattle night into the bright “sterile” Stuffer Shack environment. The saying goes that if you've been in one Stuffer Shack you've been in all Stuffer Shacks. There are dozens of isles stuffed with slightly overpriced items that someone might want or need late at night.
Once inside, the smell of Freon, fried soy, and that one smell nobody wants to ever identify. In other words it smelled comfortable. Suddenly Code went all slack and his off white eyes glazed, “Mmmmm coffeine!” then began shuffling towards the soda fountains. Usda pulled open his form fitting body armor sniffed and made a face then made his way to the health and hygiene isle. The rest of the team separated and meandered around the store trying to find something to waste some Nuyen on.
Usda looked around for a moment, It was always a necessary to know your surroundings. In the store were the normal freezers lining the southern wall. In front of one of the doors was a human male, he was dressed in a red bath robe and had straggly white hair and a golden tan. The man was taking ice cream bars out of the freezer and tasting them, putting them back... gross. The East wall had the refrigerators; to the North was the register, a youngish human man (Name tag reads Vern) and female dwarf (Name tag reads Veronica) stood looking like they wanted to be anywhere but there to help anyone. In the Hygiene isle was a 'Rocker Royalty' wannabe couple making out with a intensity that should have cause spontaneous procreation. Usda just looked for some anti bacterial soap.
Suddenly a young looking elf girl (like there are ever any other kind) with eyes darkened from lack of sleep and carrying a whining baby ran into the store yelling for anyone to hide her. Then the world exploded. The force of the explosion knocked over the first few isles slamming into Usda's back knocking him to his knees. A pair of large ugly humans rushed in as the dust was settling and shouted, “Don't be a hero, tell us where the Slitch went and you won't get hurt.”
“Hey you, pretty lady! Put the cup down and go to the freezers and you won't be hurt.” the dark haired man pointed his Ares IV towards Code.
Code being Code didn't even look at the ganger as he continued to fill his cup with pop, “Grep dis buddy. I need my Shmoozie. If I don't have my coffeine I can't die in peace.”
The second ganger moved past the Hygiene isle, as Usda started to stand. He shook his head to clear the ringing and noticed he was covered in a red fizzy substance. He noticed that cans of Underworld Deviled Ham spread all over the floor the meat was spattered on the floor and was fizzing.
“Oh My God! This is disgusting!” Usda's nose flared and his eyes turned a burning red, he started stalking towards the second gun wielding thug activating his Shock gloves. He reached out and grabbed the assailant by his head and discharged the electric jolt through the man's head. As his legs buckled Usda yelled, “You ASS! I'm a Vegetarian.” The man tried to twist free from Usda's grip as the Minotaur flexed his mass of bioware enhanced muscles to lift the man from the floor. However in his rage he flexed to hard and ripped the thugs head from his shoulders. The decapitated body flailed about for a moment then flopped to the floor.
“What's that? Hey Crank, What's going on?” The first thug turns to look as Usda drew back and hurled the head at him.
“Here, your friend wants to give you some head.” Usda roared as the severed head bounced of the ganger's chest. As the first burst of gun fire hit Usda's armored jacket, Code finished filling his pop and stuck in the straw. Without looking he announced, “Hokey, Hokey I'm headingk to de freezers, {slurp} no need to shoot.” saying that he drew his tazer and kept walking. As he went he saw Dust in isle 16, looking around while flawlessly assembling his high powered sniper rifle. His lips were moving but what he was saying was inaudible to Code. As he rounded the end of the isle Code activated his wired reflexes and began his customary twitching as the Aug misfired on several nerves, he saw the man in the red robe trying desperately to hide in the freezer, he leveled his Taser and squeezed off a well aimed shot. A short crackle of electricity ripped through the man and he twitched uncontrollably on the floor, his Fuzzy bunny slippers flopped off his feet!
"Heh Heh, Bunnies. You… offend me." Code said as he continued to walk past the writhing man.
Dust then popped up and sighted the punk aiming at Usda. A soft puff was allowed by the rifle's silencer right before the high caliber round slammed into the punk's side. His armor ate most of the kinetics of the shot, but the punker still doubled from the force. Usda's punch skimmed the banger's head as he want down, and Nestor's Katana was mostly deflected by the ballistic armor on the bangers back.
Soft piffts could be heard as Code took random shots at anyone that wasn't one of his friends. The shots were wildly ineffective, mostly because Code wasn't aiming his shots. In fact he wasn't even looking where he was shooting! All the while he was sucking up the highly concentrated caffeine soda.
Usda, Dust and Nestor took another pass at the thug they'd been working over before he finally fell. Usda felt a rib take a hit from the dying thugs handgun. Then he turned and continued to rage as he locked eyes with a third assailant. Dust fired and the thug twisted causing the high-powered round to ricochet off his armor and smash into a can that sprayed Usda with some foul smelling moldy green un identifiable veggies.
"Stooby!" a third banger, dressed in the same leather on leather over leather attire yelled. This got the attention of everyone remaining conscious including the couple who were in the same isle clinging to each other still. "You bastards fragged my brother!" he began shooting wildly at Usda. Before Usda and Nestle could react Dust shot a nice well placed round into the new ganger causing him to gurgle on what only could be a lung shot and Code hit him with a well placed Taser just over the collar of his leather jacket. The jolt of electricity along with the internal bleeding was to much for this banger and he fell to the floor twitching unconsciously as he died.
A fourth banger ran into the store intent on plowing into Dust. Remember how I said he just looked average? Well those looks kept the poor smoothie looking directly at him and ignoring the big-ass Side o Beph. So as he ran between the isles Usda reached back and slammed his full body into the end cap of the isle sliding it forcefully into the other half of the isle just missing the terrified banger. Ralizing he was out manned now four to one, he skidded to a halt and made best time back the way he came. That's when we heard the sirens!
"Ok everyone, time to hoof it outa here. I hear the Po Po." Usda shouted.
Then he and his friends made their way back to the parking lot and hit the trail. Roaring out of the lot seconds before Seattle's finest arrived.
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ROTFLMAO ;D
Oh, my fsking gods i swear this reminds me of the first time i ever played food fight, absolutely marvelous
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For myself and the rest of the team, "Thank You" ;D
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Coderizon: "Ladies and Gentlemen, allow me to present: Man Not Caring." (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JODwetfioWA&feature=related)
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I love that Doctor!
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I loved it when he shot himself in the leg while doing a tour in Vietnam.
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I loved it when he shot himself in the leg while doing a tour in Vietnam.
Say What? I don't remember that episode of Scrubs?
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I loved it when he shot himself in the leg while doing a tour in Vietnam.
Say What? I don't remember that episode of Scrubs?
It was a REAL early episode (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0091763/)
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Never watched that movie. With the exception of Heartbreak Ridge & Kelly's Heroes I don't normally watch "war" movies.
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No love for Dirty Dozen or The Great Escape? ;)
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Nope. I was a Grunt, I don't really have an intrest in how Hollywood is getting it wrong.
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Well, both are old classics and set in WWII, so a lot can be forgiven with them. Besides, they're both REALLY good source material for Shadowrun.
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Our current GM is a veteran german airborne trooper (Afganistan, Somalia, some other "nice" places). Never watches a single war movie, but the MET2000 campaign he runs for us... sometimes feels a little to real.
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Yeah I had to modify how Code talks. I found out this week that Code is Russian and his english is very very broken!
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It's not THAT BAD, jeeze! It's a second language and he has an obvious accent but he's still coherent. Go watch Iron Man 2 again and listen to Whiplash for a while (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oXDsfrQrwuo&feature=related). Code is lighter than that... Since Ivan's a little hard to understand in a couple spots, but he's pretty good in this one.
Doesn't help that when I try and do a Russian accent it slips in and out of Spanish. Damn you Zevran and your poisoning of my brain!
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Better than me... I always slip into a bad Mike Myers Scottish accent. ;)
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I think it's because I took Spanish for so long in high school. Whenever I'm trying to learn a new language or do an accent my brain tries to default on that.
It was really funny in my Mandarin I class accidental slipping random Spanish words in when I was speaking. o_0;; Don't ask me to speak Spanish straight anymore but apparently I still can when I don't mean to. Same thing when I was trying to teach myself how to curse in Drow. XD I pronounce the words as if they were Spanish.
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This is a great story. I enjoyed it.
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Code replies,"Yu r verhy welcomb mahn."
Chaotic sure it sounds ok, but try WRITING that accent. Spelling phonetically is an interesting test for a word processor! It is absolutely a gas trying to decipher some of the BattleCorps' Scottish accents! ;)
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Which is also why I don't try writing that accent. OpenOffice has enough of a fun time with Conri's sloppy Irish. I think I crashed it once when I was spell checking a PBP that was full of Conri talking and BBC formatting. Between the drunken Irish grammar-less rambling and code, OO just died.
And you, give me my character back or I will abduct Usda and do horrible, horrible things to him! You know how wonderfully I abuse my intellectual children.
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I haven't quite finished how I'm writing the story yet. You will have forst crack at it to fix Code. I always let the players read the story before I post. It's the proper thing to do after all when writing about someone elses character. ;D
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Does Code hunt Moose and Squivell? ;D
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Ok, now that one went over my head. What?
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Rocky and Bullwinkle. A Russian spy (Boris) was always foiled by them.
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When someone mentioned Food Fight, it reminded me that I always have my chars wear their armor and carry decent weapons to that store after going through that scenario like three or four times...
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try using a german accent when you really only speak redneck, grunt and geek, my spanish is absolutely horrid and i'm told that my accent in German is so horrendous that i make bavarians squeal in pain.
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try using a german accent when you really only speak redneck, grunt and geek, my spanish is absolutely horrid and i'm told that my accent in German is so horrendous that i make bavarians squeal in pain.
You think that's bad? My group has threatened to beat me if I ever use my Irish accent again.
And one Grandparent's name was Morris, and the other was Kelly. :P
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They have real canned meat in Stuffer Shack? No soy I-can't-believe-it's-not-pork replacements?
Or does the vegetarian object to pretend-meat too, just in general principal?
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They have real canned meat in Stuffer Shack? No soy I-can't-believe-it's-not-pork replacements?
Or does the vegetarian object to pretend-meat too, just in general principal?
naw, then they cant have there Tofurkey
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They have real canned meat in Stuffer Shack? No soy I-can't-believe-it's-not-pork replacements?
Or does the vegetarian object to pretend-meat too, just in general principal?
nah probably just the fizzy kind on his jacket
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They have real canned meat in Stuffer Shack? No soy I-can't-believe-it's-not-pork replacements?
Or does the vegetarian object to pretend-meat too, just in general principal?
nah probably just the fizzy kind on his jacket
They have meat. It's just that the "animal" it came from has never been outside. Nor does it have those extraneous body parts like legs, eyes, organs, etc., etc.
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They have real canned meat in Stuffer Shack? No soy I-can't-believe-it's-not-pork replacements?
Actually, they have "I can't believe it's not Spam", which contains no soy or krill products.
Due to Aztlan and Aztechnology laws, they don't need to label what *IS* in the tin, however.
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So it's best not to ask what the crushy bits are? "Small pieces of bone" probably being the best possible answer?