Author Topic: Scions of Ka: Argent Azure (Critique request)  (Read 362 times)

Mathan

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Scions of Ka: Argent Azure (Critique request)
« on: (12:00:50/07-25-17) »
Note: This thread was initially created for four characters intended to be used either in play or as optional 'hirable' NPCs for a low-player group. I have been advised that it would be easier to break them down to individual threads and as such have taken time to revise the lore and build. The concept for the characters is a group of teens who have formed into a running crew after a particular adventure. While I am very much interested to get feedback on character design and notes to help improve I wish to note that this character and other members of the 'Scions of Ka' as they are called are intended to be less than optimal without inherently being 'street level'.

The characters are based out of a homebrew 'Grand Rapids' sprawl located in western Michigan which ends up including land down to the city of Kalamazoo. As such I will be happy to answer any sprawl-specific questions for this or other characters which may arise. I have done my best to keep things as relateable as possible from the general setting and presented the information so as to avoid potential confusion from my own tweaking and GM flourishes.

Also it should be noted that this specific character is the daughter of an old character I have kept around and revised for quite a while. She drifts a bit further than I normally do into 'snowflake' territory and as such I may dial some aspects down later based on advice or other conditions. For now, however, I feel the build is as close to acceptable as it needs to be for posting here.

**********

Argent Azure

History:

    Some people have more history than they should. Baggage spanning a few short years that utterly outweighs what a normal person may see in a lifetime. Ione Shea is a prime example of such a person.

    Ione’s father is a runner. He has since before they met. That hazy day seven years ago. It's her first semi-clear memory. Watching the large mirror in her small white room getting slashed in half by an absurd claymore. Being snatched up out of the simple room and carried along in her fathers arms though a running firefight out of a facility she'd never seen and yet had never left in her short life. Even sitting in the back of a stolen Bulldog van fiddling with the mans backup commlink in pure fascination.

    Initially he took the child in because she obviously had nowhere to go. However as time went on the two grew attached to each other Letting the child stay in his burned out old apartment for a few days turned into a month, then two. Ione slowly learning about the world around her while the man who saved her kept a close eye out, Leaving only for quick runs that would keep them supported. Occasionally dragging her out of a well worn and familiar slum to another within their home sprawl. This would become the pattern of Iones life outside over the next year.

    Eventually things settled. Ione started to adjust to the world as a whole. The pattern of ducking out of the way at some friendly runners house while her dad did a job or dashing out of their home in the middle of the night was her normalcy. There was progress. Every once in a while the short-stay establishment would get a bit cheaper or let them stay a bit longer. Flavored paste giving way to occasional take-out and each new place just a bit less dangerous than the last. Until finally at eight Ione got a long ride out into the wilderness. There, out in the back roads of what was long ago rural West Michigan, she was given one of the greatest surprises of her life, a new home. Half finished, on a small plot of cleared woodland her father had found.

    Since then life has become far more stable and secure. Due to the nature of her home and her fathers work Ione was left largely alone in a mostly finished house in the wilderness. Food and water were plentiful and a secure matrix connection set up by one of her dads decker friends allowed Ione to explore her budding passion for technology in private without much need to fear any sort of serious harassment. She even had a makeshift service dog to keep her company. A shaggy grey wolfhound named 'windbolt' who has quickly gone from cute playful puppy to borderline horse still incapable of grasping that he isn't small enough to be a lapdog.

    Considering the nature of the shadows and those who tend to grow up in them Ione has had a far more functional life than most of her peers. That all changed over the past year.

    Project Reaver. It took her father almost dying to get the information on it, information that changed both of their lives forever. While specific names and details had been heavily redacted the basics of the project spoke volumes. After Chicago fell, Ares began several projects dedicated to stopping the bug menace once and for all. One of the more ambitious ones centered around cracking the genetic 'Drake code'. Using cutting edge scientists and arcane specialists from dozens of disciplines along with 'borrowed' DNA from a list of unknown Drakes. The project took years of hard work and countless failures before producing its first viable 'clutch'. All of whom were once held in the Anne Arbor facility that her father and his old crew hit all those years ago. The run almost cost Jacob his life, and it was only thanks to Ione assembling a team under false pretenses that he, and the data, were saved. A team she gathered with the help of a matrix ghost, claiming to be the spirit of her fathers late wife.

    Her father has grown more protective since that day. He's taken on more aggressive runs and made bigger hits against Ares facilities in the hopes of finding new information. Possibly even finding the other kids alluded to in the reports. This has left the young girl worried for her parent. This worry only grew after she finally hit dracomorphisis. Her first painful transformation cementing to both of them that the chances of her leading a 'normal' life were now utterly dashed. It seems her father takes this as a sign that he must ensure her safety and keep her hidden no matter what. Ione views it differently. She has spent the months since this discovery getting closer to her newly discovered 'mother' and perfecting previously disparate matrix skills built from her time alone. The young teen has gathered a set of tools and honed her skills enough to strike out on her own. She needs to prove that she can protect herself and be a proper runner like her dad. Not only for his sake, but for her own.

Personality:

    Running is in the blood, even without the blood connection. Though she isn't related to either her father or the supposed ghost of Lizzy Shea, the would-be Runner is nevertheless a strong mix of both. Like her father she has a short fuse and an altruistic do-gooder streak. Though not prone to the bear-fueled frothing rage of her dad, she still tends to put her morality ahead of pragmatism far more than any real runner should. Much like her adopted mother she is technically inclined and rather quiet. Often reserved, though far more sardonic than the quirky and demure nature that the old home Trids always depicted with Lizzy. While even the matrix ghost seems to wear her social anxiety on her sleeve, Ione masks it with a sharper version of her fathers massive blunt force wit. Cutting people deeply with stinging words when she feels nervous or anxious.

    She has a strong inclination with technology. Before it was discovered that she was in fact Draconic, Ione had always begged her father for a Datajack. She built her own deck out of spare parts given to her by her by various short-term caretakers or friends of the family. Her commlink is also a heavy modification of her own design. That may be why her friends are mostly people she knows on the matrix or the kids of other runners. Those few who get her to open up risk listening to her on her tech fixation or other similar interests. This is especially grating when one considers her primary caretaker for the bulk of her life is a retro game snob who insisted on teaching her likewise.

    Ione struggles with her newly discovered draconic nature. While she was already shy and insecure under a thin mask of stoic dispassion, she must now face the reality that someone discovering what she is may one day lead to the death of her father and her own subjugation by one of the great dragons roaming the world. In spite of this Ione has convinced herself that she cannot live her life in fear. She does her best to cope with bad jokes and traditional teenage detachment. Things like naming her elemental attack ‘PPC breath’, a joke she doesn't realize is painfully obscure.. Unfortunately it only goes so far. The one hope she has is that one day she can stand on her own two feet without that constant note of paranoia gnawing at her mind.

Appearance:

    Ione has the fashion sense one would expect from a young woman in her position. Her father a former game designer, her mother a matrix ghost who also worked on games when alive. Then there’s her godmother who always seems to dress her up like a Russian Neo-dutchess, the crazed T-bird pilot, the CZ crawling bug hunter, The Troll session bassist and many many more. All of whom have left some small impact on her sense of what looks 'normal'. Thankfully most in the Sixth world tend to be used to eclectic fashions.

    She’s rather scrawny, the result of little activity and low food input. With deep blue eyes and dark black hair streaked metallic silver in a few places. This is actually a natural occurrence and she’s generally forced to dye it when hiding. She has a few freckles and very light skin due to a lack of sun exposure. Something more her choice. Generally she tends to have her shoulder length hair cover at least half her face. She has a bar piercing in the left ear and a few rings in the right, though few people ever see that.

    Her outfit looks more like someone mugged a few anime hobos. A simple plaid skirt and throw-away sleeveless graphic tees are the main order of the day. However that is matched by a once-fashionable armored scarf and a custom made coat both given to her as gifts by her godmother. The scarf is usually kept at a black and purple color setting and hangs down behind her save for when it is cold or she needs face protection in combat. The coat is a custom-ish job just a couple sizes too big for her. It uses magnetic fasteners and some memory cloth for deployable sleeves and to quickly shift during transformation. It can be shifted with several patterns but often she prefers a black coat with silver draconic emblems. This all finishes with accents like a pre-order messenger bag for one of her favorite games, a rather fashionable Tiffani taser her godmother gave her to go with the outfit, a heavily embroidered cyberdeck case and silver-rimmed glasses made to look like the ones her father wears.

    In Draconic form Ione appears as a slender and slightly smallish silver dragon with opalescent underbelly. She can breath a beam of blue-white lightning and sports a pair of coal-black horns just long enough to gore an unwitting foe.

Attributes:

Human (awakened Drake)

Body: 1 (3)
Agility: 4 `
Reaction: 3 (5)
Strength: 1 (3)
Willpower: 5
Logic: 5
Intuition: 3
Charisma: 4 (5)

Magic: 4
Edge: 4
remaining Nuyen: 4261

Qualities:

Animal Empathy
Premium Data Haven membership
Sensei
Friends in High Places
Speed Reading

Neoteny
Did you just call me dumb
Social Stress (Non gamers/runners)
Infirm 1
Unusual Hair
Wanted (ares)

Skills:

Cracking Group 6
Electronics Group 6
Stealth Group: 1
Influence: 1

Con 3
perception: 2
Pistols: 1
Exotic Weapon (Elemental Attack): 2
Perception: 2
Instruction: 1
Summoning: 1
Animal Handling (+2 dogs): 1

Knowledge Skills:

Ares Macrotech (Academic): 2
Dragons (Academic): 2
Gaming (interest): 6
Geopolitics (academic): 2
Runner culture (Street): 2
Trids (interest): 2
English: N

Magic:

Path: Draconic

Mystic Adept

Powers:

Mystic Armor: 2
Improved Reflexes 2
Spell Resistance: 1

Spells:

Summons:

Joan (Spirit of man 4)

She claims to be the actual ghost of St. Joan returned as an angel. The claim is absurd in most every way, but the few times Ione has summoned this simple angelic woman into reality she seemed easy to work with. A simple bob-haired woman in golden armor and white robes with angel wings

Favors: 1

Drake:

Ione has undergone Dracomorphisis. She is capable of shifting into a simple Drake form. Her form is that of a lightning-breathing silver drake with coal black horns and thin limbs. She still hasn't unlocked much of the real potential of this form.

Common Western Drake Abilities
Breath Weapon: Lightning

Weapons:

Tiffani-defiance Safeguard
Ammo: 24

Plasteel toe boots

Armor:

Dragongirl Duster:

A long leather duster with retractable sleeves and electrochormic materials. Part of a gift from her aunt on her thirteenth birthday. It’s big enough for her to ’grow into’ and usually black with silver draconic pattern highlights. It was re-designed to easily fall away during transformation

Lined Coat
Electrochormic
Feedback clothing
Quick-draw holster
Adjustment for dracoform

Hand-me-down Scarf:

A nice if somewhat tacky scarf with a somewhat busted eletrochormoic makeup, usually set to a black, blue and purple plaid stripe pattern. It’s too big for her, which makes it perfect to use as a makeshift ballistic mask.

Counts as Ballistic Mask
Electrochromic
Drag Handle

1 week cheap changes of cloths

Matrix:

Sleeper Beauty:

An attempt to turn an Avalon into a kind of low rent deck. Ione has been fiddling with commlinks since she was little. She's probably bricked hundreds of metalinks. But this Avalon is probably her favorite creation. For the most part it simply looks like a typical Avalon with a few girly decals. Under the hood is a basic built-in system to support basic cybercombat and an open dongle slot. She keeps the dongles on a lanyard around her wrist, and more often than not  keeps the stun dongle in. It makes for a nasty back-up weapon and is easily justified considering her apparent age.

Stealth Mod: 2
Processing: 6
Firewall: 6

Transys Avalon
20 parts packs
Modded Stealth value 2
Stun Dongle

Lil Miss Studydeck:

A custom-assembled deck made from loaned parts Ione picked up over the years. most are donations of working bits and bobs from otherwise heavily bricked decks that her fathers running mates would often give him. The end result is passable, all things considered. The casing itself is carved bits of hardwood from a fallen tree screwed on to a clunky scrap metal shell sized to fit an older and slightly smaller deck screen. It's bigger and a bit less sleek than commercial models, but it gets the job done for one of Iones skill.

Little Hornet
Inbuilt configurator mod
Multidimensional Coprocessor

Programs:

Fly on the wall
Evaluate
Bootstrap
Search
Shredder
Edit
Virtual Machine
Wrapper
Biofeedback
Traveling game collection (50 used/classic games)
Exploit
Rating 4 Agents: 2

Gear:

Argent Glasses:

Glasses modeled after the custom Commlink glasses her father wears. These glasses however are silver-framed instead of the blue arms her dad has. They likewise have a powerful image link system in the lenses and specialized trodes that rest ont he temples with a slight adjustment

Glasses Rating 3: 330
Trodes: 70
Image Link: 25

AR Gloves
Headphones:Rank 2
Earbuds Rank 2
Flashlight
Toolkit (hardware)
‘Ascending  Scion’ Preorder Backpack

Tutorsoft (Artifice) 5
Tutorsoft (Spellcasting) 5
Shopsoft (Stuffer-finder)
Shopsoft (Game Crazyness)
Mapsoft (Grand Rapids Sprawl)

Social:

Runaway Ione:

Taking Lizzy Shea's maiden name, Ione has scrounged up enough for a passable SIN, what she assumes to be sufficient docwagon coverage and the credentials to pass for her cover, as a college student who simply happens to look young. Naturally it's not the best cover and anyone with a shred of skill is likely to see though such a SIN. However that may actually help protect her, since her real one is, by contrast, far more plausible and the likelihood of a teenage kid trying such a dumb stunt is probably far higher than it should be.

Name: Tuesday Moon-Song


Fake Sin 1
Docwagon gold 1 month
Lifestyle: Traveler
One Good Thing
Matrix Subscription
License (Cyberdeck) 4
License (Stun Dongle) 4

Real-ish Ione:

The current and most long lasting 'proper' fake identity she and her father have been living under. A safe, heavily protected house out in the W zone where she is as far from any harm as one in her situation reasonably could be. She has to return here from time to time, especially when her dad is back home. A return will generally mean her adventures, at least for the time being, are ended. her father keeps up on a Docwagon Platinum subscription. However as her parent and legal guardian he is informed if it goes off. Thus any situation where a response team is called would likewise alert her father to her behavior.

Identity; Ione Shea/Douglas/ext.

Fake Sin 4
3 month Docwagon Platinum (taken from resources, but paid for by father monthly)
Lifestyle: (in dads sheet)

Contacts:

Lizzy Shea’s Ghost:
Matrix Ghost/Mother/Mentor
Family
8/6

Smiling Alesha:
Godmother/Evo ladder climber/Thrillruner/Godmother
8/5

Jacob Shea/Mathan:
Father/Adept/Runner/Not to be fucked with
Family
1/6

Jr. Bob (Bobbette the fixer trainee):
3/2

Jackpoint Group Membership:
It needs to be said?
Group
5/1
« Last Edit: (00:34:55/08-18-17) by Mathan »

UnLimiTeD

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Re: Scions of Ka (Critique request)
« Reply #1 on: (03:39:56/07-31-17) »
It's ... a lot of text.
I'll start one by one lest I never post anything. First off, good work on the fluff.
Not, your first one.... I believe it's pretty decent. Maybe not high-powered, but certainly potentially capable.
If you started them off with a few 'bottom-of-the-barrel' runs (yes, you probably don't at all, just hypothetically) this could probably work.
Though that Stealth Dongle is really expensive - 75k or something? Fluff and all, but that's maybe overdoing it a little.^^
Still waiting on a Vector-Thrust Liminal Body.

Marcus

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Re: Scions of Ka (Critique request)
« Reply #2 on: (13:30:22/07-31-17) »
Respectfully this is to much to cover in one thread, please split it up, one character at a time.
Your skill choice over all strike me as odd, as do many of your purchases, a one year doc wagon contract? A maid outfit? honest to god I don't think i have ever even seen a hand blade on a sheet before.
what gen method did you use?

Mathan

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Re: Scions of Ka (Critique request)
« Reply #3 on: (07:54:39/08-01-17) »
Just going to put this Here.

I appreciate the feedback, but as has been suggested I likely WILL be breaking this up soon. And posting a rewrite.

Basically I wrote these characters while in a DEEP depression. Loved the ideas (especially Ione since she is my mian characters kid) but my math was borked and frankly I didn't know Chummer had 5th edition yet. Cobbled it in my chemically depressed head with the demo of hero lab. As such most of these got tweaks.

I'll likely try to rename this and focus it on Ione with a fluff spruce and put the other three up on their own in the next day or two. But I wanted to thank you both for the kind replies and make sure people would not be confused by them when i do split it.

Marcus

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Re: Scions of Ka (Critique request)
« Reply #4 on: (14:24:16/08-01-17) »
Just going to put this Here.

I appreciate the feedback, but as has been suggested I likely WILL be breaking this up soon. And posting a rewrite.

Basically I wrote these characters while in a DEEP depression. Loved the ideas (especially Ione since she is my mian characters kid) but my math was borked and frankly I didn't know Chummer had 5th edition yet. Cobbled it in my chemically depressed head with the demo of hero lab. As such most of these got tweaks.

I'll likely try to rename this and focus it on Ione with a fluff spruce and put the other three up on their own in the next day or two. But I wanted to thank you both for the kind replies and make sure people would not be confused by them when i do split it.

I never liked Char gen programs, I have always preferred to do it by hand, there is a LOT here, and I am sure it can all be made to work.
If you do want a char gen Chummer is free, and is easy to use. It has flaws, but being free is a big advantage.


Mathan

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Re: Scions of Ka: Argent Azure (Critique request)
« Reply #5 on: (00:37:39/08-18-17) »
So after a few tweaks to make her more focused on being the least expensive (and experienced) Decker in my roster, for others to hire anyways, I finally got around to putting stat changes up and making her hopefully hit a good sweet spot of 'worth considering a hire' for my players.

That said, anyone sees any glaring errors or things that could be refined I wouldn't be opposed to input.

Also took out the other character from when it was all one big post. He'll... take a while